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Originally Posted by everafter  After 2 months of separation, I thought that we were making progress toward reconciliation. He said he was willing to work on our marriage. Seemed to be making progress with the MC. But he didn't want to spend the night last night, despite taking a rare day off of an intense work schedule today. Said that the house would have to be cleaner/more organized before he'd move back in. And during an intimate moment, he felt to see if he was wearing his wedding ring! So, I am back to sadness. I don't want to rush back into things if it means having a spouse who ignores me at best. But it felt like he is coming up with contingencies rather than relationship issues. Maybe because he's living back home with neatnik Mommy, who is doing everthing for him. I am working full time, raising our teenaged son, and have the other son home from college this week, so yes, the house is extra messy. I guess I'm sad and mad.
Feeling as I do does not make for a cheery enthusiastic partner, and is, in essence, driving him away, so I am torn. (If I do the 180, he will probably feel even more justified in leaving.) Any advice? |
Hi everafter,
I'm in a similar situation as you
...
After the divorce was final my ex-h decided he wants to try to reconcile....I was more than happy since I love him so much and want nothing more than being with him again....
I've had a really hard time ever since, because I believe he had an EA with a former high school girl and I sometimes accuse him or make snide remarks about other women
and then my mother passed away and I was just not myself at all....
We're still living together so that makes it hard...
He slept in the spare bedroom for two nights last week and then back in our bedroom.....
He got drunk Thursday night and tried to have sex with me but I was too tired and sick, and didn't react to it....
He was good with me Friday, talked nicely, smiled....yet when I woke up in the middle of the night he was sleeping in the spare bedroom again
......I've done nothing wrong....so why ????
I asked him and he said "to avoid things".....(meaning sex)....I asked why and he said "Because it isn't right"
Now he realizes this ????
I don't know what to think or feel...
I'm scared he decided against us, even though I've been good about the remarks lately.....
He was nice to me today, even told me about a funny link to look at on the computer....
He looked me in the eyes when he was talking with a smile on his face which he doesn't ever do if he's mad....this is what makes this whole thing even more confusing
....
Why does he all of a sudden not want to have sex with me anymore....
I'm sure he didn't read my "No more sex" thread, because he doesn't get onto marriage help boards....so that is just so odd....
Any opinions ???
Everafter.....I feel for you because I know exactly how you feel
!!!!!!
We're in Limbo and it sucks bad....
If you ever need to talk privately feel free to PM me......
last night 
