Hope you're all doing OK.
OK, most of you know my story, but I will sum up real quick for anyone that reads this that doesn't know it then I will move on with the post.
Married for 17 years. 2 kids 12 and 16. Many wonderful years. Then Ex was introduced to snorting oxys and lortabs then quit taking her meds for bi-polar and depression. Her personality changed and she turned cold and unfeeling and then she left. She took out DVP(Restraining Order) to keep me away from her so I couldn't try to talk her out of leaving and talk to her about the drug use. She would not communicate at all.
OK now the update.
She has suddenly decided to drop the DVP. She did ask that I not "blow up her phone" when I call her (Her way of saying not to call 5 or 6 times a day.), but texting is not a problem. I have to admit. She works in customer support and is on the phone all day and hates to talk on the phone to anyone.
She said I can have our girls for half of or their entire spring break. My chioce. Almost like she has feelings again and she is feeling guilt over keeping the kids from me.
When I talk to my daughters in the evening my youngest tends to put me on speaker so she can talk to me and I can help her beat bosses on her DSi games. I look up guides online and tell her what to do when the game gets tough. It's our way of doing something together while we are apart.
Well my ex has been kidding around and laughing and play picking with me in the background on the phone when it is on speaker. She every once in a wile actually talks directly to me a little, but again from the background. She never actually gets on the phone, but has said she will call me soon.
She seems though like she wants me to take some or most of the responsibility for making her want to leave. The more I show I am willing to look at it and think about my roll in the split the more she seems like she wants to interact.
I am willing to look inside and look hard at the past and see if it was my fault even a little, but to me it looked pretty clear what happened.
She was getting close to 40 and was wanting to hang on to her youth.
She started hanging with some young crazy girls.
She got on drugs with those girls.
She stopped taking her meds for her issues because the drugs made her feel she didn't need the meds anymore.
She got out of her right mind and her personality changed.
She left her marriage.
Seems pretty clear to me.
The only thing I can think of is I didn't approve of us using drugs and doing a lot of partying and discouraged her from doing strange colors and things wither her hair(like coloring it purple, green, blue and such) and getting certain types of piercings and tattoos cause we have kids to raise properly and set a good example for. Perhaps she feels I stifled her, but I still ended up going along with her on the hair and stuff and even helped her pick out colors and jewelry and helped color her hair.
I'm pleasantly hopeful yet nervously apprehensive and painfully confused... lol
Thanks for any conversation on this change of events and any insight and invite any questions.
Much love to you all.