sadand

When is a good time to contact an attorney? My H has his own apt. now, we are still in MC and he says he wants us to do this through mediation. I just don't want to be foolish. I hope we can reconcile, but...

827Aug

Now is a good time for a lawyer. Find out exactly where you stand. You can still have mediation.

Jellybeans

What is the point of marriage counselling if he wants mediation?

Seriously.

827Aug

I agree there too. My estranged husband did that for a spell too. For some reason, it seems to ease the wayward spouse's guilty conscience......and blocks you from getting a lawyer sooner. It in essence gives false hope. I now see that as part of the "mind game". Beware!

Jellybeans

^ Haha. I think they all do. Mine did too. He actually finally went to MC counselling w/ me the SAME week he filed for divorce.

Riddle me that!

LonelyNLost

See an attorney now. And 180 his butt. He's cake eating. Talking about mediation and reconciling in the same sentence? My H told me he called a mediator as a way of telling me he wanted a divorce (he has no spine, but that's another story). You can get a lawyer and do mediation. Consult with one now. Doesn't mean you have to hire them, but you'll be in the know. You don't want to do things his way and regret it later.

__________________
~ You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you don't trust enough. ~

Or, you could be a big sap and trust your husband, and he could end up being a lying, spineless, cheater.

sadand

Ok, good advice. I did contact an attorney and they said the same thing, get legal support during mediation. We are using MC to make it possible to cope with the changes in the relationship and eventually to tell our kids. I do think that we have learned a lot about our relationship in MC and as long as he wants to do it, I am in. Perhaps he really does need a break to see the loss. Either way, I need to act to protect myself, I did make him sleep in his apt. until we tell the kids, just waiting for the school semester to let out. He texted me today to say he stopped by the house to let the dogs out, but I know it was to get stuff he needed for his golf league. I just sent back "K" and left it at that. Proud of myself, one step at a time! I think he really does believe he needs to go, I am just not sure that he won't be back, so I can do 180 without burning bridges, at least for the moment, I mean 29 years and counting with no addictions, adultery or abuse. Crazy