I watched the video....I just don't understand why we give men so little credit. I think they know things aren't right, but don't do anything about it. Society has put it in their heads that women do all the talking and relationship stuff so they become lazy and don't have to do any of the work?
Don't blame society. Or men. There is plenty wrong with all of us that we can all take credit for being messed up.
That said, we each have a role to play in changing our disfuntional relationships. I really don't know your back story. But the one thing that popped out at me about this paragraph above is a fundamental difference between men and women.
Men don't WANT relationships to be all work. To them, if they have to work morning noon and night, it is not worth it. They can be willing to work when motivated, unfortunately often through effective limit setting. But if the fun and joy is stripped out of the relationship, then the motivation to work will not happen even with effective limit setting.
He never was controlling etc....he just wasn't there. Not present in our relationship....he left me a long time before I left him. I swear he's depressed, but he doesn't believe in depression, so how can anyone help him? GRRRRR
I don't know what that means. Back in our bad old days, my DH did not look present in our relationship. But he was in the exact same boat I was. Unhappy and with no clue what to do about it. The talking just felt another burden to him.
I've tried letting go of who's at fault for what....I would love to talk about a solution with him, but he's still caught up in "fault" or else he wouldn't just say, "You left me"......so my only option is to move forward. My therapist has been telling me, he doesn't believe what I say. I think he FINALLY understands I left, but he doesn't understand that I'm done with our marriage and relationship the way it's been for 3/4 years....
Well if you are, in fact, done, then what is the problem? Let him go.
Honey, you've been thru so much! All I want for you is to be happy again! I mean that! You deserve it! *saying a little prayer for you*
There you go. Good for you.