I have read some about BPD.
PWNC, if you've not already done so, I suggest you follow the two links I provided a year ago in post #68
above. Those links point to posts where I discuss how to spot the warning signs for BPD. It is easy to learn because there is nothing subtle about behavioral symptoms such as temper tantrums, irrational jealousy, and always being "The Victim."
My counselor just gave me a book "Stop Walking on Egg Shells," about living with someone with BPD.
A more useful book, now that you are moving forward with divorce, is Splitting: Protecting yourself While Divorcing a Borderline or a Narcissist
. It was written by Bill Eddy and Randi Kreger. The latter is author of the Eggshells
book which you already have.
I don't entirely understand the disorder yet, but I can tell you the description aligns right on with my stbx's behaviour.
If you believe your STBX has strong BPD traits, I recommend that you NOT try to persuade her of that. If she really is a BPDer, she almost certainly will project the accusation right back onto you, believing YOU to be the BPDer. Instead, simply encourage her to see a good psychologist (not a MC) and let the psych decide what to tell her.
As to helpful online articles, I recommend two BPDfamily articles: Surviving a Breakup with Someone Suffering with BPD
(Article 9) and Leaving a Partner with BPD