Like Bandit.45 said, I guess this is all normal.
I had a breakdown this afternoon. No specific reason, just felt like I was going to panic and couldn't breathe right. Got a friend on the phone. I was so dang emotional. I'm not sure what brought it on, but it felt the way I've felt when someone close to me has died. It's like the woman I fell in love with doesn't exist anymore - she died.
Sometimes, I feel like a real wuss when I read stories about people who have been married for years and decades. There are so many situations on here that are much worse than mine. This is my second marriage and my 3rd long term relationship. My first M was 6 years, then I had an 11-year LTR, this M has lasted 4 years. I don't know why I'm taking this one worse than the others. I put so much into this one, learning from a lot of the mistakes I made before. Guess I had more to learn.
She's reached out by email 4 times today - between angry and apologetic. Mad at me because I talked to her family (I didn't), then apologized and said, "of course you can talk to my family anytime you want, I'm just not ready for them to know." Then mad because she heard rumors that I filed the separation papers without her (I didn't), then another apology that I haven't fully read yet.
I only answer with business. Ex, didn't talk to your family, didn't file papers, requires both signatures, will send tomorrow.
Hope I'm on the right track.
I so get this. When my pop died, I was stone faced. I had to take care of mom.
When I was alone, yes I lost it. But I had to put someone before me. I so get it.
I shed tears from my 1st love (1988-90), 2nd love (1991-96), XW (1997-2012)
and UG (2013-14). You loved and lost. But with your W, everyone will lose.
It's not you..... it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
I swear to God I hated that statement when I was younger.... but it's true.
You can't save everyone.... you have to save yourself. Maybe she will someday
look in the mirror and realize.... but don't expect it. Just work on you.
Do the things you didn't because...... she didn't like it.