Re: Walk away spouse and finances.. advice?
This is a setback day for me. I've been putting on my big boy pants every day lately and doing the things I need to do. But this morning, I can't find my big boy pants.
I had a meeting at the project we worked on together, part of my work, but she was the real spirit behind it. Most of the people involved know that she's gone. They're bummed out her leaving and worried about me. I didn't let on, just did what I had to do. But, it made me miss the good part of her. Made me sad that that's not the part of her that guides her - the part that people love, the part that gives, the part that finds joy in life.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not backsliding. The good does not outweigh the bad. I'm not getting sentimental. Just felt sad that that person is gone, got eat up by some other self-consumed person who I don't even know.
I'm a leader in the family and in the work I do. People depend on me, which is a good thing work-wise. I wish that wasn't the case for a few days. I really would like to just hide out for a day or two. But, impossible. Phone keeps on ringing, work keeps piling up. The more I sit here, the more the deadlines are adding to the stress.
The good news is I do feel differently overall. She sent me an address this morning where I can send the separation papers. The old me would have jumped at the opportunity to reopen communication, get back in the pick me game. Not anymore, I feel a huge sense of relief that I don't have to ride that roller coaster anymore. Someone else bought that ticket.
It's become very clear to me too that I was letting this crap happen to me. Boy, if I could have gotten my man on earlier.
The sense of freedom from the game feels great. The sense of loss, I just need a little time with it to get it out of my system.
Thank God there are 10,000 crappy things to remind me not to spend too much energy on that loss.
Last edited by pwnc; 05-16-2016 at 10:43 AM.
Reason: Cursing is against the rules.