First, thank you for this forum!
My wife has left the marriage three times in the past 5 months. It's been a cycle - disappear for a couple of weeks, contact, come back, perfect feeling marriage for a few weeks, disappear again. Her personality does a 180 within a matter of a few minutes, something new for her. She has no such history in the past. She admitted to cheating last year and has been in and out of contact with the other person. She is currently gone and may well be living with him. I don't know. She claims that I have been a wonderful husband and that there's nothing wrong with me. She "just has to get her head straight." I don't even know what that means.
We've been married four years, no kids. Most everything is in our names jointly. I have been the primary provider financially. She currently doesn't have a job. Where ever she is, she's driving a car that is in my name. I'm paying her auto insurance and her cell phone. She has accessed our joint bank account once, but I moved all of the money out of that account now.
I'm looking for advice here. Should I cut her off completely - ask for the car to be returned, cut the cell service, insurance, and open new accounts? And if so, any advice on how to do that without being a butt?
I know this may seem obvious to some of you, but please understand that I'm the type to worry about her wellbeing.
See a lawyer ASAP and get the divorce filed.
If she has no job, how is she living? For all you know she has opened a bunch of credit cards in your name and is charging them up to the hilt. Run your credit report. I would run hers too. Find out what your situation is.
If she is running up credit card bill, depending on your state, you are liable for 50%. And if she cannot pay them, you are liable for 100%.
Do not put any more money in the joint account. As long as there is a good audit tail of where the money has gone, you are ok putting it in an account in your own name. If you have health insurance for her, do not cancel it yet. Generally health insurance has to remain intact until the divorce is final.
Do not take the car back, stop the insurance or her cell service until you talk to an attorney. For one thing you want her to get a job asap. She can ask the court for interim spousal support (30%-50% of your income) until the divorce is final. She’ll get it. So do not do anything that stands in the way of her getting a job.
Bottom line is the above and what others are telling you is just input from our experiences. You need to talk to an attorney ASAP before she puts you in real bind.