dante

I covered this a little in my first posting, but I wanted to hit this topic a little more specifically. Just to make sure I am not crazy. Initially when she left I had it set up for my wife and I to see the same counselor (both separately and jointly). After a few days she told me that she didn't want to see "my counselor" and instead was going to the same psychiatrist as her mother sees for her issues (not divorce related that I know of). At the end of her first session (75 minutes), he suggested that she file for divorce and gave her the names of three attorneys to contact. She contacted one to see about the retainer, but has not secured the services of any yet.

Then during one of her other sessions, he said that we needed "at least one lawyer" for the divorce, which led her to believe that we only needed one lawyer. I told her that if she was going to get a lawyer I would as well. She said it would be too expensive and I said that it had to be that way and that one lawyer was bad advice.

I have talked with a few professionals in the counseling and psychology fields and they have said that these suggestions were at least unethical. She says he is a great therapist because he is so easy to talk to, but he also isn't digging for any issues that she might have brought to the marriage. The only issues that she apparently has is some anxiety and an inability to be direct with the ones she loves.

I think that this guy is a bad therapist and she says mine is not doing his job because he is giving me hope and should be preparing me for the divorce. Anything that I say would be seen as manipulative or controlling because her guy disagrees with my position that the marriage can be saved. What do you all think and how can I approach this subject with her?

DelinquentGurl

Unfortunately, you can't.
She likes the guy, and anything you say otherwise might lead her into thinking that you are trying to manipulate her.
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