10-18-2008, 08:44 PM
Join Date: Sep 2008
| | Re: How do you get over feelings of rejection?
Thanks for the ideas. Today is a much better day, I went to breakfast with my mom and then to the zoo with my daughter and her family and now I'm home just chillin' with my dogs (I have four, my husband didn't really like them and was grouchy to them too).
A couple of weeks ago he came up with some type of lame agreement -just emailed to me of course - that I have not responded to at all yet. It mentioned very little financial contributions from him which will not work at all. He said that I would have the house with all furnishings but I would also be responsible for all payments, taxes and upkeep and that on the day of the dissolution the deed would transfer to me. Well he can transfer it to me, but the bank is not going to let him off the note. I don't know how he expects me to pay all of our expenses on my income alone. We make about the same amount of money. I told him he could not just walk away from the debts and expenses of the household we shared for 30 years. I told him that since HE wanted out of the marriage it was not fair to change my or my daughter's lifestyle. He said he had no intentions of changing her lifestyle, but by leaving me dangling financially how could it not.
Also had some visitation ideas - how we would alternate having our daughter on the holidays. If he thinks I would let her spend the holidays with him and his "biker chick" he is out of his mind. He knows that Christmas Eve at my mom and dad's house is a big deal - since HE wanted to go, there is no way my daughter's holiday traditions will change. He'll have to come up some alternative. And had some crap that our daughter will be available on Sundays at 7 for a phone call - she has a cell phone - he can call her whenever he wants. He must have been looking at someone's divorce agreement (probably biker chick's) he was using all these legal terms: the parties, shall not annoy, harass, or molest? I asked him where all the legal terminology was coming from, he said he was watching the People's Court - yeah right.
I have contacted a lawyer and we do want to iron out an agreement, but I told him we need to take our time to come up with something we can both live with. I told him I can't afford to be hurt financially, since he didn't even want to try to fix things. My daughter and I have been going to counseling and she could not understand why her dad would not even consider going too to save the marriage. She doesn't know about "biker chick" yet. I told him he could spring that little detail on her - I had to tell her that he had moved out, I will not do all of his dirty work. My older daughter figured out that her dad left me for a girlfriend and she doesn't even want to speak to him.