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Going Through Divorce or Separation A new addition to our forums, a place to go for sharing and support for those going through divorce and separation.

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Old 06-06-2011, 03:34 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Progress!

I'm over 3 months into my into my separation... 9 months to go before divorce is even an option. Things are still amicable; last night my stbx wife met me halfway between our places to "hand over" the kids, and all 4 of us had supper at a local restaurant. I've had supper back at "the house" recently as well, after working on replacing the deck stairs, and we've been to a movie as a family as well. All without any unreasonable expectations of reconciliation bubbling up, I think.

This last week was my most positive week in probably the last year. I interviewed for a new job the previous Friday, signed the contract on the Monday. The raise from the new employer pretty much offsets the amount that my wife hasn't made by remaining unemployed. And it's a 2.5 year government contract, so there's some stability as well.

Then on Wednesday, I went to look at a condo for rent. I've been living in a friend's basement since moving out. It's been super helpful; it's close to work, he's never home, and it's cheap. But my space a single room about the size of a small hotel room, with a tiny bathroom and even tinier shower. Plus a small shared kitchen. I did look at one other place last month, but left depressed. The price was right, and the location was good, but it reminded me of my college batchelor days... Old, dingy, run down...

The place I looked at last week was a new unit, and just felt like a home when I walked in. A wonderful view of the river valley, big, bright, hardwood floors, big deck, underground parking... And I live in a location where the winters get down to -40! . It's 2 blocks from an underground subway station as well as the park system (and I'm a runner). In suite laundry, air conditioning... Everything about it is perfect. Signed the lease papers on Sunday, take possession in just under two months. Told the kids about it yesterday as well, and they got excited about having a place of their own when they came over (2 bedrooms) and more frequent sleep over visits. They saw the bright side right away, without being upset that it meant I wasn't coming back home. My stbx took the news ok, but I told her in front of the kids, so I'm not sure how she was really feeling about it.

All in all, a freaking perfect week! To top it off, my GF went with me to view the condo, and was there when I received the news of both the job and lease application acceptance. It felt great to have someone to share that kind of news with! She's a professional interior decorator, and is excited about my new place and helping me set it up. No, there's no plans from either of us about her sharing that space with me on a permanent basis, but we're both very happy about the upcoming increase in privacy... . Although she will likely get her own key, and some space for some of her stuff, if she likes.

Anyway, thought I'd share some happy vibes! Here's to a positive next week!

C
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Old 06-06-2011, 04:49 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Good for you. Those sound like very, very positive things for you. Congratulations.
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Old 06-06-2011, 08:58 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Great news on moving forward. You sound very centered about things, and that gives me hope.
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Old 06-06-2011, 10:40 AM   #4 (permalink)
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I am happy to hear everything is coming together
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Old 06-06-2011, 11:05 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Very happy for you. I hope each week is better than the last.
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Old 06-06-2011, 12:51 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Thanks for the comments, all!

C
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