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Old 06-10-2011, 03:32 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Default Re: already divorced trying to get wife back

You're being walked on, and she has no reason to change her behaviour because there's no impact to her if she doesn't. My advice, move on with your life. You should have done that 5 years ago, when you separated.

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Old 06-10-2011, 03:58 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Default Re: already divorced trying to get wife back

fuller14: Listen to your heart, what is it saying to you? It is saying enough for you to come on board here and post your doubts with us.

We were given instincts and intuition for a reason. To protect ourselves. Yours are giving you warning signs.

It is very hard for one person to regain respect for another if they allow a behavior that is stepping over boundarie,s that shouldn't be stepped on, to continue.

You know what you must do. We all had take very difficult steps in order to get peace, closure and move on with our lives. This is true if we wanted to or not. We all made our mistakes, we made choices that brought us to this place in time.

Forgive, forget and forge a new life or change your behavior. It truly is in your hands. You know what to do.
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Old 06-10-2011, 08:40 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Default Re: already divorced trying to get wife back

It sound like your X was some what engaging in the past, now this week nothing..hum you may have been replaced. It sound like what little communication the two of you had was just some spare time she could afford you. Now it seems shes more occupied this week. That or the new man in her life doesn't like her having contact with you.

Maybe if her new love interest only knew about the unconditional love you have for your exwife then he too can get something out of it, and won't mind if you to stay in contact.

So what will your exwife appreciate more, a smart phone for him or a maybe you can pay his cable? I'm sure if you ask your exwife what her new boy friend needs you will have to provide it b/c there should be no condition for your love for her.


I hope this sounds crazy, b/c what you are doing is just as crazy. If my reply is dumb then good b/c its sarcasim and it's ment to make you think how wrong your acting and how stupid it all sounds.

Seriously though be prepared to feel her rath when you stop paying her way. If you ever do! Geeze!
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Old 06-10-2011, 10:42 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Default Re: already divorced trying to get wife back

Sorry, but I'm just still really confused about the whole story in general. You've been divorced for 5 years. You have a 3 year old child with her. You've been intimate regularly until 16 months ago. You've been trying to reconcile for 5 months. Do I got it? How long were you married to begin with?

Does she know you guys have been in the process of reconciling for 5 months? If she does, and you are/were both on board with it, then I might say there's a chance of something developing. But it won't be because of anything you're doing. It will be because you STOP doing what you've been doing. Then you maybe have a 50/50 chance. She'll either get pissed because you're not making her life easy and leave for good (which is fine because you don't want her if that is her attitude), or she'll gain enough respect for you to see you as a MAN again.

Hope I don't sound mean here but just trying to be real. Try to see your situation from an outsiders perspective. Then maybe it will make more sense that you just need to nut up. I mean, you're already divorced right? So you've got nothing to lose if you try something different that actually works. That's really all I've got for you man. Try nutting up a bit. Be respectable.
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Old 06-11-2011, 07:14 AM   #20 (permalink)
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Default Re: already divorced trying to get wife back

we were married for over year and had our daughter when we were married. the issue at hand is there is no intimacy, she barely contacts me during the week, and never gives me money to help out with bills. All the answers have been to get me to realize i am in denial. Y'all are all right, I am doing a 180 starting today, no contact. I have to move on with my life. If her actions havent changed in 5 yrs they will never change. also she will realize the grass isbt greener on the otherside. I thank u for all ur support and help. I will need courage to start doing this so will post a lot.
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Old 06-11-2011, 10:48 AM   #21 (permalink)
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Default Re: already divorced trying to get wife back

Oh, I was so excited when I saw the topic because I'm going through something like this myself.....

I've been hoping to get some advice or be able to give some, but your inconsistencies are so confusing....what in the world is right ?????????

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been officially divorced since 06.
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we were married for over year and had our daughter when we were married.
Meaning, you would have gotten married 2004/2005.....meaning your daughter now would have to be about 6 years old, not 3.....

Which one is it ????

I'm really sorry, but it's hard to give serious advice when someones story just doesn't add up......
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Old 06-12-2011, 03:36 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Default Re: already divorced trying to get wife back

sorry, just emotionally drained. married in 06 divorced in 07. just trying to get my family back. divorce is hard, i dont know how people do it.
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Old 06-12-2011, 06:45 PM   #23 (permalink)
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Default Re: already divorced trying to get wife back

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sorry, just emotionally drained. married in 06 divorced in 07. just trying to get my family back. divorce is hard, i dont know how people do it.
I know how you feel....I'm divorced as of Jan '11 and trying to reconcile since...well, right after the divorce was final.....

All I can tell you is 180 the heck out of it !!!!!!!!!

As soon as I signed the divorce I turned 180....mostly for my own benefit to help me cope with the situation, but initially it made him see me in a different light I guess....and his feelings changed/came back....I don't know....

It's going to be a long process, but could be so worth it in the end.....

180 !!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 06-12-2011, 07:43 PM   #24 (permalink)
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This is ridiculous, I'm sorry. You have full custody, pay her bills and PAID FOR A BREAST AUGMENTATION???

I just can't think of a nice way of putting this: stop being her doormat. You obviously love her but her actions are speaking very loudly-she is using you.
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Old 06-13-2011, 01:04 AM   #25 (permalink)
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Default Re: already divorced trying to get wife back

Fuller14...
Have you thought about it a different way? Would you buy/pay these things for her even if you knew, in your heart, as truth, you would never have sex with her again?
If the answer is no then please stop now and devote that energy and money into the child
If it is yes you are as effed as me ... and...
You might be a doormat... but I'm a materialistic wh#r@... soo

(bad night, sorry...)
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Old 06-13-2011, 07:45 AM   #26 (permalink)
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Default Re: already divorced trying to get wife back

I appreciate all ur responses. Starting today I am taking a new approach in life. I am devoting all my energy into being a better father for my daughter as well as getting my life back on track. Going to write in a journal as well as keep positive. Being a doormat and being walkedover will no longer happen. I know there will be ups and downs, but I am very thankful for this website.
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Old 06-13-2011, 07:48 AM   #27 (permalink)
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Rome 2012, I am starting today doing the 180. Tough road ahead, but this is the only option I haven't tried. So are y'all back together now? Are you still doing your 180?
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Old 06-13-2011, 10:51 AM   #28 (permalink)
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Default Re: already divorced trying to get wife back

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Originally Posted by fuller14 View Post
I appreciate all ur responses. Starting today I am taking a new approach in life. I am devoting all my energy into being a better father for my daughter as well as getting my life back on track. Going to write in a journal as well as keep positive. Being a doormat and being walkedover will no longer happen. I know there will be ups and downs, but I am very thankful for this website.
Good! I like this attitude. I think things will go a lot better for you moving forward if you keep it up.
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Old 06-13-2011, 11:25 AM   #29 (permalink)
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Default Re: already divorced trying to get wife back

You gotta move on. 5 years is a long time to still be stuck where you were.

I guess I am still confused as to why you filed for divorce if you didn't want one.
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Old 06-14-2011, 03:34 PM   #30 (permalink)
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Default Re: already divorced trying to get wife back

how do I get my wife back, not having a good day today?
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