Is it over?

Gabriel527 · 06-10-2011, 04:26 PM

I just want more information. What should I do if I still love him. He says he doesn't love me, but he loved me three weeks ago. Those kind of feelings don't just go away. He is a really good man and we do not have big disagreements or infidelity (and I swear I am not in denial about that). He said he loved me and held me and was going to miss me before I went out of town for 5 days. When I came back he was packed and had two friends here to "make sure he went through with it, because without them he would stay." He went to the market the day before he left and bought perishable food that I don't eat the day before he moved out. He also left all of his stuff form before we were married and our marriage. He only took movies, clothes, and books, and wants nothing else back. He will not negotiate or speak. He only emails and texts. He tol me when he left we would work, but told my parents the same day he was done. None of this makes sense. I feel like something big happened and he is scared or something, I just don't know. Can I get him back?

anx · 06-10-2011, 04:39 PM

No its not over but its going to be hard. Something is weird with your husband right now and chances are you can't fix it. He needs to figure out himself. It doesn't make sense what he did. You need to try to get into mc and or figure out what is up. Did anything recently change in his life? Has he been unhappy and not telling you?

This will take a year or more to fix and will be hard. Are you ready and willing to do that?

My story is in my profile, but I am separated a second time.

Best of luck and God bless.
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ClipClop · 06-10-2011, 04:46 PM

Where is he living?
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Gabriel527 · 06-10-2011, 04:56 PM

He is living with his fraternity brothers, he won't tell me exactly where. He just joined two months ago and just turned twenty-one in december. Those are the big changes. I saw no sign of him being unhappy. He is a workaholic and very career focused. We even had a trip planned that we planned two days before he packed. It was just too sudden. The two guys at the house were also fraternity brothers. I am willing to work as long as it takes but he is transferring schools in a year so can I?

Gabriel527 · 06-10-2011, 05:01 PM

The rest of my story is under "I am too young for this."

yourbabygirl · 06-10-2011, 05:21 PM

Read my thread and I think we are on the same boat. I am also not giving up on our marriage.

My husband left me but I am NOT giving up

Gabriel527 · 06-10-2011, 05:33 PM

My husband says we can't be friends for a while and he won't even speak to me in person or on the phone. We were happy two days before he left. It doesn't make sense. He will not listen to reason or attempt to try. How do I get him to stay?

unbelievable · 06-10-2011, 06:05 PM

He can't make a major life decision without assistance from his frat brothers? Maybe he'll be interested in a relationship when he grows up.

anx · 06-10-2011, 08:59 PM

21 is young. There isn't anything you can do but be loving and the 180 and respect yourself. If you are religiously inclined and probably anyways read love must be tough. Never lose love and respect for yourself. He made an immature choice. Be the better partner and stay strong.
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Catherine602 · 06-10-2011, 09:13 PM

I think his frat brothers convinced him that he should be free to have fun like they are. The free life may have been enticing. I think the only chance of getting him back is by letting him go - if you try to convince him to stay it will only give his bros a chance to argue against your relationship. If he insist on going there is not much you can do. Don't dishonor yourself by begging it never works.

Have respect for your self he is being very cruel he does diserve to have you at this point so don't let him think he can decide. He has to prove to you he is worthy. That is the only way you can be sure he will not do this again. From reading your post, he does not repect you and you allow him to disrespect you. Let him go if he wants back let him beg you. You can do better believe me although it does not seem so now. In a year, you will be glad he left. You will be with some who will cherish you.

I would go silent on him. It will be difficult but it is the only way. Appear to get on with your life as if he is right. Go out with friends, dress nicely, get your hair done. When he contacts you let him him only see you doing well. This will give space to think. He will be left with the bros and will have to count on them for friendship, emotional support etc. Let him see how life will be without you. Make sure not to sit at home waiting for him get going with your life. It is difficult but you must do it this way.

Best of luck.
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