D day. Urgent advice
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Old 06-13-2011, 12:29 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default D day. Urgent advice

My brother is having the seperation talk with his wife tonight as she is becoming more erratic and manipulative and he can't take anymore. Last night he confronted her yet again on her numerous affairs and she told him 'I've been wanting to leave you but I was scared you would kill the children and then kill me.' My brother is by not stretch of the imagaination violent and would never dream of hurting anyone but I am really concerned about the SIL's downward spiral. She is coming out with all sorts of random and bizarre things, but this is so far out of left field it isn't funny. She has been known to get violent and break things when she is confronted. I am really concerned for his and the kids safety. No one knows where her head is at right now. What on earth do you do?
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Old 06-13-2011, 05:20 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: D day. Urgent advice

I guess it's safe to say that expensive "retreat" did little good. What living arrangements is your brother planning to have during the separation? How old are the children? Do you think she may be using drugs?
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Old 06-13-2011, 07:32 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: D day. Urgent advice

If you can, I would try to arrange for the kids to be out of the house when the talk goes down. I don't know about the laws where you are, but having a voice activated recorder going during the talk might provide some protection to him if things go south.

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Old 06-13-2011, 08:49 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: D day. Urgent advice

She sounds completely bipolar. Breaking things, tantrums and impulsive behaviors (like multiple affairs) are classic manic symptoms. There isn't anything you can do if she's not medicated. You can't will yourself out of being bipolar any more than you can will yourself out of any other congenital disease.

Does he have a lawyer? I would have him be sure to list all of these behaviors. Bipolar is pretty easy to treat with safe medication. This runs in my family.
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Old 06-13-2011, 11:47 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: D day. Urgent advice

You can't do anything but be supportive and there for your bro.
He has to handle this on his own. I would def advise him to get an attorney and STAT. She sounds like a loose cannon.
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