He filed for divorce and I'm 7 1/2 months pregnant
About 5 months ago my husband said "he loved me but isn't in love with me anymore" and at this time I was about 3 months pregnant. He said it started years ago (we've been together 8 1/2 years, married 4 1/2) before we were married and his feelings have been off an on. He recently filed for divorce and I'm 7 1/2 months pregnant.
A little background on him. He comes from an abusive childhood, phsyically and sexually. There has been closure with his father who phyiscally abused him but no closure with his mother (he hasn't talked to her in 19 years) who let her boyfriend's father molest him and he is says it's because of her not saying she is sorry that he feels empty inside. I told him he needs to be the better person and confront her on it and tell her how it is affecting him. Since he grew up in an unstable home with parents never around he has no knowledge on how to act in a relationship, and I'm proud of him for how he has turned out for the most part because he has never abused me in any sort of way.
Back to our situation. He thought marrying me, buying a new home (we moved in Jan 1 of this year), getting pregnant and me graduating with a Bachelor's degree in Nursing would make him happy. But it didn't. Don't get me wrong, he is excited about the baby. He is always asking how she is doing and about my doctors appointments. But he moved out and comes home to mow the lawn each week (we have about 3 acres of mowable lawn with hills) and to see how I'm progressing. Oh yea, he filed for divorce 3 weeks ago. But also at the same time, we are filing bankruptcy because we still have a mortgage on the other house which we lost our butts on and can't sell and I'm unemployed until after the birth of our baby because the hospital that I interviewed at wants to hire me but I wouldn't make it out of orientation before the baby was born and want me to call back after. So there is A LOT of stress on him because the bankruptcy is only under him and has nothing to do with me.
I didn't mention that he still hangs out with our friends sister. I also found out that she occasionally stayed the night where he is staying but they didn't share a bed. He tells me he is not sleeping with her. Her sisters (1 is my best friend) and her mom tell her to leave him alone, he is married with a baby on the way. She says they are just friends and nothing is going on between them. I tell my husband, you may not be cheating on me right now but you will sleep with her eventually. I told him that because they talk about their relationships and what is going on, emotional stuff, and it leads to that kind of connection.
To me, it sounds like he is suffering from depression, but I may be wrong. He tells me he wants to be here at the house with me more because he wants to be there for the baby but does not want me to set up hope that his feelings will return. He says he has some days when he wonders what the hell is he doing. I so deeply want things to work between me and him because I never dreamed of raising our daughter on my own. Both of our families, and I, didn't see this coming and they feel the pain for me. He has been avoiding his family because he "doesn't want to hear it". I have been trying to set my feelings aside and "not care" but it is really difficult.
Last edited by kristen11; 06-15-2011 at 06:49 PM.
Reason: Typo in Tite