Well I survived the wedding day/night. I saw my wife about an hour before we had to be at the venue while we were all at he resort. She asked If I would walk her to her car to get something because she wanted to see me before the wedding so it was less awkward.
It's all about her comfort. She did not want the silent treatment in front of others. That would have made her feel conspicuous.
We had small talk she said I looked good in my tux nothing much.
A throw away line that is not sincere. So, yeah, nothing much.
Standing up at the wedding it was very difficult while our friends read their vows but I held it together. As the night went on we had a few talks, nothing too bad and nothing too good either. At one point she says to me "do you know that I still love you?". Kind of hard question.
You have to feel pain so that she will feel alive.
I know she still loves me but she doesn't seem to love me enough to stay married and change her mind about what she wants to do in the future after med school.
Med school is hard work. So are relationships. Once she becomes a doctor, I'll bet she quits jobs and moves around.
We then started talking more in depth about our situation I gave her my coat because it was getting cold. She started crying about our conversation then said that we should probably stop the conversation because she was getting old feelings again.
There you go, causing her pain again. Of course people were watching this drama. But it was just to protect her from having the WAW label stamped on her. She wanted to show everyone how hard it was for her to break up with you.
We then basically hung out with our friends the rest of the evening. I said good night to her and we went our separate ways... Her and I both got real close to acting on old feelings last night but neither of us pulled the trigger.
She would have been close to you at the end of the evening if you were supposed to have sex. She probably would have let you kiss her but no more than that.
I guess I'm not good enough for her anymore. She keeps telling me that she doesn't want to totally lose me and wants us to remain best friends no matter what happens. That sort of pisses me off because I cant just go from being married to then just strictly being best friends.
It's all unreal. You get married to someone else and have kids and you are supposed to invite her to be godmother to your kids? You're going to get post cards from Africa?
She made it very clear that her head is still in the spot of wanting to travel after med school and doesn't see herself wanting to settle down and start a family. She wants to go to lunch on a regular basis but I do not think that is a good idea for myself. How am I supposed to get over her and move forward if I'm constantly seeing her?
She is using you to sustain her sense of self worth. She needs therapy. Get away from her.
I still love her and I'm still soooooo attracted to her so us being around each other like last night was very very difficult. I found myself looking around the reception hall worried that I'd catch her flirting with some guy then I would tell myself no stop I need to worry about myself not her.
She already said that you are both free to date and she left so that you wouldn't be able to see her with other men.
I don't think you should stay with her because the likelihood of successful reconciliation is small. However, if you want any chance of reconciliation, you should file for divorce and cut off all contact. She may begin to respect you again and be attracted. You realized that allowing her to keep you dangling is destroying your sex ranking?
You cannot nice a woman back if you were a nice guy to begin with. An abusive guy who becomes kind is someone new – he has changed the pattern. In real life abusive men have trouble fixing themselves. There is a better chance if there is alcohol or some other negative factor that can be removed.
Your situation is different. You have supported her faithfully. Cut off support and you will appear in a new light. Every time you meet and talk and exhibit your tried and true nice guy to her, she gets confirmation that you are the guy who no longer excites her. Not only do you need to place the "period" punctuation mark on your relationship, you must show that you have evolved as a person. You have the self respect to refuse to be patronized.