Gone since Easter Long read.....
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Old 06-22-2011, 12:35 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Gone since Easter Long read.....

I meet my Ex on plenty of fish. com. We hit it off at the get go. we talked for a few days then she asked me to come over to go swimming in her pool. she was a widow. Her husband died of brain tumors almost two yers ago. She was left with a three Y/o son. so i went over. We went swimming and after a few hours I asked her if she wanted to go on a motorcycle ride. " I built my own bike" she was all for it. so she got a sitter and we went out. So we headed out to a hole in the wall place out on east 192 stopped and talked over a few cold beers. We learned a lot about each other that day. Then it happened she kissed me. I was not expecting it but hey it was all good. so after that I took her home and went to my own home. Over the next week or so we talked on the phone and emailed each other. We also meet up for dinner and other things. then we moved on to the next step. yea SEX. and it was great TBH. Im not a player never been one. She knew that. but anyways.

She was/is from Long Island NY and she had plans before I meet her to go to her fathers birthday party. she asked if I would take her to OIA and I said sure I would. I knew what I was feeling the day after I dropped her off. I was in love with her. But didn't tell her that day. I gave her a kiss goodbye and she told me she would see me in four days.

Over those days we would text and talk on the phone. Her sister got all upset during the party "sister is a binge drinker" and sucker punshed her and gave her a blakc eye. she called me that night all up set. I talked her down until she was OK. the next day she flew out and returned to Fl. I picked her up and thats when I told her I was in love with her. she said she was in love with me too. so we took it to the next step. We started to live together. Everything was awesome for the first time I was happy and so was she. We would do things every weekend going to the theme parks, staying at hotels for get away weekends and riding the motorbike. It was the best of times. so in October we went to Ny for her couisons wedding on Staton Island I meet her family and we all got along good. she has a big Irish klan and I'm Irish as well so we all hit it off great. So after that weekend we returned with her son back to Fl.

Soon after that I popped the question. I asked for her hand in marriage. she said yes. so we had a small wedding and jumped in with both feet. Like i said we were happy. I told her she was/is the sun in my days and the moon in my nights. and she said i was the man of her dreams. These were part of our vows. so life was going good. the 3 Y/O would go to day care three days a week. On those days I would go see her for lunch. see I'm a contract worker and was between contracts. I work large commerical jobs. "ie" hospitals schools. everything was great. I was happy all my friends/family seen it and would say its about time you have found happiness in your life D. Before I meet her she was having problems paying her bills and almost lost the house. But I got on the phone and worked with the credtours and made deals to pay them off and ever saved the home we now shared from forecloser. "No I'm not trying to shine here" but It's what I do/did. after all we were a team and teams players always look out for the team members.

Well as life was going on around us we found we had a rat problem and it kept eating the hoses on the front load washer. It flooded the LR twice. So I fixed it and called the rat guy. after three weeks of failed attemps the rat wasn't going into the baited traps. so we moved on to poison. And that worked but the only problem was the rat died in the block exterier wall in the LR. and as the rat broke down it started to smell really bad. so I was putting carpet fresh behind the WM and lighting candles to kill the smell. One day the 3 Y/O came running in to the LR after I was lighting candles and ran into the lighter. " a long red and black lighter" and he got a small burn on his belly I treated it and told his mother about it that day. It was an accident. that was April 7th. On April 8th he went to daycare. the Daycare worker seen the burn and called DCF. They came and took the child from daycare. They went as far as to say I did it with intent and told mom she was going to get her son back but I could not be in the home anymore. this was the start of the downward sprial. so I had to leave.

In the mean time we did what we had to do the ocsd got involved and we went to see them and gave a statement as to what happened. she knew it was an accident and even told that to the ocsd. we thought it would all be cleared up in a matter of time. well it didnt get better. On Easter we had our very first fight. not phyical but we were yellling at each other. she got on the phone with her sister in LI and her sister conviced her to leave and drive to LI that night. So I sat on the couch and watched her leave. "I have not seen her since" So she was gone for a week and thats when I filed a missing persons report. Her sister found out and was hurassing me over the internet through emails. Yes the same sister who sucker punched her and gave her the black eye. well since she returned she has done a 180 degree turn and has now said that the burn was done with intent. Her family even said I did other things to the child. " I cant go into it per attorney" so i was arrested on agg. child abuse back in May. I have since posted a bond and wating for a court date. She did return and went on one of the local media outlets and told nothing but lies about me on TV. she then proceeded to pack up and move back home to LI. " let me make one thing very clear here. I would never hurt that child I love him like he is/was my very own" I have had no contact with her. she lost her job of ten years and filed for a divorce on May 22ed. But the clerks can't find me to serve me.

I've been so depressed before she left I was going to go to such exstreams that i was going to jump from the parking garage across from where she works. I played it all out in my mind how it would play out. What the cops would do what I wanted to come off the edge and what I wanted her to know. I just was that desprate. but as you can tell I did not follow through because I'm here.

since then I foound out she was less than honest with me. she had/has a pill problem as well as other drug problems. she ran back to her Ex BF " the pill dealer" and started to see the player she would play with before I was involved with her. So now I'm here. I'm alone she has no contact with me. I miss her like crazy. I forgive her becasue I know in my heart it was her family that convinced her to do the things she has done. I found out yesterday her dad is/was following me on my twitter account. I fixed that ASAP. all I would post on there is how much I missed her. I'm sure he was just livid knowing how I felt about his daughter. I'm numb to this day. I find myself going through all our pictures and videos of our adventures. I still can't sleep through the night. when I do I dream of her. I'm a mess to say the least.

that;s all I'm going to say for now. I just needed to get this off my chest because it kills me everyday.
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Old 06-22-2011, 12:43 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Gone since Easter Long read.....

2/2 I know why she will not talk to me. It's becasue if she did she would go with whather heart feels. I know in my heart she is still in love with me. no I'm not crazy But I know what we had is real and she does too. she is doing this to please her family.
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Old 06-22-2011, 01:09 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Gone since Easter Long read.....

You sound as if you have been the subject of a severely disturbed group of people, and offered trust and investment of your heart and your time, to have it trampled on.
Why is "Comfort" in terms of what we have come to accept as normal in life, sometimes to different than what is best for us?

This appears to be a door opening for you. Someone is helping you before things get worse.

Once, I know a man who got a flat tire, and took a bit longer to change it out becuase the grade of the road was sloped on the side he was pulled over on. Once changed, he proceeded down the road only to find an eight car pile up, a very severe one, approximately the same amount of time down the road as it took him to change his tire.
Its hard to see why things happen sometimes, much less consider we are being spared from something much, much worse.
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Old 06-22-2011, 03:20 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Gone since Easter Long read.....

How do I get through to her? or do I even try? How do I get her to stop doing what her family says to do. she is 47 y/o woman for Gods sake isn't it time to act like one?
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Old 06-22-2011, 05:24 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Gone since Easter Long read.....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thorn407 View Post
How do I get through to her? or do I even try? How do I get her to stop doing what her family says to do. she is 47 y/o woman for Gods sake isn't it time to act like one?
Doesn't matter how old they are, some girls just never grow up. (some boys too)

I guess my question is, why do you want to stay again?

I know you are really attached to her, most of us on this forum are deeply attached to our SO, but is it her you are love with or the idea of her? You can't compete with a drug addiction, so right off the bat you are down the list of priorities. She is trying to have you charged on fraudulent criminal offenses, she has you questioning the value of your life.

You may have had some chemistry, but that is not enough to have a sustainable relationship with her. Run away, you deserve better than that.
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