She agreed to get an apartment in town. We are going to split the boys 50/50. I asked her not not to contact me much and keep it business like and she agreed.
I am going to 2 parties tonight and tomorrow. I am so lonely, what are the rules about hooking up with someone? I need some self confidence. I know someone that is going and she used to like me in High School and flirts with me every time I see her and she is single. I won't do anything, but am I a free man or not?
Good that she is getting her own place and the kids won't be around the OM when with her.
As for the hook-up. I dunno, it sounds like it's too soon. And are you OK, and is the high school friend OK with being a rebound relationship. I guess it just means that you need to know that this new woman you are thinking about meeting should not turn into a LTR. There is no way you have let go of all emotions so quickly about your marriage breakup and it wouldn't be fair to the OW if she was looking for a new serious relationship other than a "hook-up"
Now, if her intentions are the same as yours, I would say that for all practical purposes, yes you are single. Have fun at the party - just gaurd your heart!
Men have different needs and different views post breakup so I understand where you are coming from. IMHO, yes you are single at this point.
BTW, you need to also be aware of local laws in your area pertainining to divorce/sep. Some states still consider adultery a crime and illegal until a legal sep or divorce is filed. If your ex finds out about your little fling were it to happen, it could be a serious problem for you during D proceedings. I hate to throw this out there but I am just recommending you do a little research before jumping into an intimate relationship. It would be terrible if this impacted your custody of the kids. Sorry to put that thought in your head. You deserve at least a little bit of happiness.
She agreed to get an apartment in town. We are going to split the boys 50/50. I asked her not not to contact me much and keep it business like and she agreed.
I am going to 2 parties tonight and tomorrow. I am so lonely, what are the rules about hooking up with someone? I need some self confidence. I know someone that is going and she used to like me in High School and flirts with me every time I see her and she is single. I won't do anything, but am I a free man or not?
That is good that she will have a place... for awhile when W and I separated she was staying at a friends house, even on days when she had our son... I am glad she has her own place now, I know atleast their is a semblance of a home when he's away from "my" home.
You definitely must not put your sons in the middle, they didn't do anything to deserve this and now have enough grief on their own plates to contend with, you need to protect them and make sure they have some security.
As to dating, I too wanted some sort of confidence boost right away, I'd been lonely for so long. It is a real sense of rejection and that is traumatizing. I put out feelers early on, an upfront and honest ad on a dating website, but so far haven't really pursued anything, and hid my profile. But there are some possible options - I decided though that I'm not going to depend on that for validation and get the D first before actively looking for another mate. Just be true to yourself if it is making you stronger or is just an outlet for your frustration, if the former than I don't think friendly dating is a bad idea, but its way too soon for a healthy sexual relationship.
That is good that she will have a place... for awhile when W and I separated she was staying at a friends house, even on days when she had our son... I am glad she has her own place now, I know atleast their is a semblance of a home when he's away from "my" home.
You definitely must not put your sons in the middle, they didn't do anything to deserve this and now have enough grief on their own plates to contend with, you need to protect them and make sure they have some security.
As to dating, I too wanted some sort of confidence boost right away, I'd been lonely for so long. It is a real sense of rejection and that is traumatizing. I put out feelers early on, an upfront and honest ad on a dating website, but so far haven't really pursued anything, and hid my profile. But there are some possible options - I decided though that I'm not going to depend on that for validation and get the D first before actively looking for another mate. Just be true to yourself if it is making you stronger or is just an outlet for your frustration, if the former than I don't think friendly dating is a bad idea, but its way too soon for a healthy sexual relationship.
Thanks for the advice Lon, I didn't have a clue. Like I said I don't think I would do anything anyway. I have never cheated on her. It doesn't seem right.
My wife is adamant that she hasn't slept or even kissed the other Guy and she doesn't believe she has done anything wrong. She is going to go to counseling soon about her Histronic Personality disorder/Borderline Personality Disorder. Hopefully she gets what she needs. Maybe that will change the status of our relationship.
I don't want to have any hope because that seems to get me in trouble. I just have to keep telling myself it is over. Prepare for the worst.
Thanks for the advice Lon, I didn't have a clue. Like I said I don't think I would do anything anyway. I have never cheated on her. It doesn't seem right.
My wife is adamant that she hasn't slept or even kissed the other Guy and she doesn't believe she has done anything wrong. She is going to go to counseling soon about her Histronic Personality disorder/Borderline Personality Disorder. Hopefully she gets what she needs. Maybe that will change the status of our relationship.
I don't want to have any hope because that seems to get me in trouble. I just have to keep telling myself it is over. Prepare for the worst.
Oh no, the HPD... when I found out about her A I found a comment on a psychology forum that described living with a wife who has HPD and it described exactly how I was feeling (though not necessarily saying she had a personality disorder, but there possibly was some histrionics going on). Anyway I made the mistake of telling her this and it didn't sit well, maybe was the tidbit that she used to convince herself R wasn't an option.
Anyways at this point for you definitely prepare for the worst, and listen to your W's actions more than words, if not to save your M, than just to improve yourself.
The W just told me that she did sleep with the guy once. The reason she told me is because she has Chlamydia and that I might have it. I thought she was back to her sense this weekend. It turns out she just keeps lying. I doubt she just slept with him once, either.
The W just told me that she did sleep with the guy once. The reason she told me is because she has Chlamydia and that I might have it. I thought she was back to her sense this weekend. It turns out she just keeps lying. I doubt she just slept with him once, either.
Life just keeps getting better for me.
So much for 'platonic relationship'.
Get tested for STDs ASAP and then file immediately for divorce - not separation - on the grounds of adultery.
She has just proven to you that she not only is willing to risk her life but yours as well. She cannot be trusted, let her go.
Re: Recently separated as of yesterday 
