She's missing you and flopping on what she had said originally. I figured she'd do that. She's in the midst of an emotional crisis. She just has to snap out of it.
thanks M22,
its so hard to tell though.. I tried hard not to let her see me in pain and I admit it was tough.. I prayed constantly before picking up my daughter for strength. I know it doesn't seem like much but it does give me a small glimmer of hope... Right now that is something I really need ...
Last night was a tough one. I saw my wife when I visited my daughter.. All I could think of doing was grabbing her and hugging her for all I could, its been so long since we have hugged, the smell of her hair and the sound of her voice haunt me. I no longer sleep, when I do I have dreams of what I have lost, my family my self worth and my wife. Days are longer now just when you start feeling better something comes along and smacks some sense into you. You know it will get better but when.. they say time heals all wound but how much time.. I am so afraid that I will start feeling better and then the divorce will come along and bring me crashing back to reality as I watch my hopes and dreams die with my marriage..
today is going to be another long one...... Prey for strength..
Last night was a tough one. I saw my wife when I visited my daughter.. All I could think of doing was grabbing her and hugging her for all I could, its been so long since we have hugged, the smell of her hair and the sound of her voice haunt me. I no longer sleep, when I do I have dreams of what I have lost, my family my self worth and my wife. Days are longer now just when you start feeling better something comes along and smacks some sense into you. You know it will get better but when.. they say time heals all wound but how much time.. I am so afraid that I will start feeling better and then the divorce will come along and bring me crashing back to reality as I watch my hopes and dreams die with my marriage..
today is going to be another long one...... Prey for strength..
Skin, sorry man I haven't responded in a few days. I've been living what your saying as well. My personal demon is a wife who no longer says I love you or even love jody in her emails. I keep telling myself to believe in her and what she says her faithfulness is but then she continues to lie about her contact level with him. She is coming back on Sunday and I have no idea what women is coming back.
I would suggest finding people who you know you can talk to to help you get some of this built up sorrow out of you. I am constantly feeling the same thing and have had some family and friends to help me vent. It's becoming exhausting reliviing every days hardships to people but it gives some release between the continued let downs your feeling from her.
Skin, sorry man I haven't responded in a few days. I've been living what your saying as well. My personal demon is a wife who no longer says I love you or even love jody in her emails. I keep telling myself to believe in her and what she says her faithfulness is but then she continues to lie about her contact level with him. She is coming back on Sunday and I have no idea what women is coming back.
I would suggest finding people who you know you can talk to to help you get some of this built up sorrow out of you. I am constantly feeling the same thing and have had some family and friends to help me vent. It's becoming exhausting reliviing every days hardships to people but it gives some release between the continued let downs your feeling from her.
I wish you luck man.
Jason
Jason,
thanks for the reply and I wish you luck in your life. Things have been tough this weekend. I know what you mean about the wife saying I love you.. mine quit saying it about a month before she kicked me out. everyday i made sure to tell her that I loved her just so she would know.. it finally got to the point where she asked me to stop saying she didnt care to hear that anymore. I want to have fatith that it might work out but the more i reflect on what she has said and done I dont know if i ever could take her back.. it would be hard. so good luck my friend I will have you in my prayers and thoughts that if she does come back to you that you all can work it out.
don't give up man, if your family is worth it, fight for it. i firmly believe when she called you 5 times after you did the "do not contact" thing, she got a little panicky. she thought you might really "mean it." she has made her decision. she wants you around. too much ambiguity from the beginning when she said "we might fall in love again."
come on bud. is your family worth the effort?
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separated, honoring wife and family daily, she deserves the best me i can give her.
don't give up man, if your family is worth it, fight for it. i firmly believe when she called you 5 times after you did the "do not contact" thing, she got a little panicky. she thought you might really "mean it." she has made her decision. she wants you around. too much ambiguity from the beginning when she said "we might fall in love again."
come on bud. is your family worth the effort?
Thanks voivod,
yes my family is worth it to me. I have tried during this time away to make myself a better man. I have looked back at myself to see what all i could have done to not be in this situation and where we both made mistakes. I appreciate your enthusiam towards saving my marriage. I do love my wife and my family and having them with me again is the most important thing. It has been hard trying to show my wife the changes when she doesnt want to talk or see me most of the time. It hurts knowing that I am changing and she might never give me the chance to show her before its to late and things have been done and said that wont be able to be taken back.
I still have hope that she will think one day and give me another chance but my hope fades as each day does...
It has been hard trying to show my wife the changes when she doesnt want to talk or see me most of the time. It hurts knowing that I am changing and she might never give me the chance to show her before its to late and things have been done and said that wont be able to be taken back.
I still have hope that she will think one day and give me another chance but my hope fades as each day does...
thanks again....
yeah, but you're changing, getting better. you are always gonna have that.
and besides, i told you before, she changed her mind once before, right??? who's to say?
things that can't be taken back? like anything in the past? we can't change the past. so anything that was said is just that: WAS.
"fades each day???" get up tomorrow morning and watch the sun rise. it's a remarkable thing. and it'll happen the next day, and the next day, and the next day, and...
each of those days is a new one, full of new hope. it's amazing what a fleeting positive comment from her brightens that day, right? we live for it, cuz we're guys. it's a little miracle. and it will happen tomorrow. that's why that sun keeps risin'.
buddy, hang in there. keep your powder dry and stay ****ed and locked. pray for a miracle. they do happen.
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separated, honoring wife and family daily, she deserves the best me i can give her.
[QUOTE=voivod;26208]yeah, but you're changing, getting better. you are always gonna have that.qoUOTE]
Yes you are right I am changing but with each day that passes my hopes for her to see those changes fade. I know she is getting more confident that she can do it alone with each day. As her confidence grows. The hope of saving my marriage fades. Its hurts knowing that more than likely its over you say she changed her mind once and your right she did but this time seems different I know she is to proud to ever admit that she made a mistake and want to come back. I believe she would rather see what else it out there than give it another chance.
I continue to prey for a miracle and strength but so far I have gotten neither.
I know your confidence in the relationship is fading. Don't lose all hope. Keep doing what you're doing and find your strength elsewhere. If anyone wallks out on this relationship completely, let it be her. Sorry to hear the latest. I'll keep praying.
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--M22
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud..... it always perseveres.
Yesterday i received an email from my wife we have been separated for 2 weeks now. Well in her email she stated that I should move on that no matter what I did to make myself better that her feelings for me would never change and that it was over. She said the she didn't want a relationship with me or anyone else. So in your all opinion does it sound like she has made up her mind and is moving on in her life without me ? or do you think maybe she is confused and need time to sort out her feelings..
any thoughts are appreciated
She may feel very certain now. But if this seperation is only two weeks new you can (if you choose) redeem and rekindle. I highly recommend watching the movie "Fireproof." Let me say again....HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!
She may feel very certain now. But if this seperation is only two weeks new you can (if you choose) redeem and rekindle. I highly recommend watching the movie "Fireproof." Let me say again....HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!
Well last night we had a huge blowup.. She told me over and over how much she hates me for what i have done to her and made her become. She said she hasnt loved me in quite some time and never could again.. I have to admit that things havent always been great and i could have done much more to make them better but at the time i did all i knew to do. Since this all happened i have read a lot about relationships and how to better myself. I know she holds some blame in the downfall of our marriage but she thinks and believs it was all me. It hurts to know that with all her anger and bitterness towards me that she will never be able to look back on the good times we shared over our marriage and smile when a thought crosses her mind. I hope in time that she will be able to fogive me and herself for what happened..
question: what led to the blowup? there may be a hint there.
Well i called about my daughter picking her up Wednesday night and she said fine I then asked her about making me some picture collages for my apartment. well that got her in the bad mood.. after that she told me i could come by and get some money... out of my check that i was having direct depostited into her account.. well i told her i had canceled it and she flipped out.. she canceled my phone car insurance and pretty much told me over and over how she hated me for all that she has gone through... granted that she is the one bailed on the marriage its all my fault. Then i told her we would be selling the house in a year and she threatened tp move the girls out of state because she has never liked VA.
Well i called about my daughter picking her up Wednesday night and she said fine I then asked her about making me some picture collages for my apartment. well that got her in the bad mood.. after that she told me i could come by and get some money... out of my check that i was having direct depostited into her account.. well i told her i had canceled it and she flipped out.. she canceled my phone car insurance and pretty much told me over and over how she hated me for all that she has gone through... granted that she is the one bailed on the marriage its all my fault. Then i told her we would be selling the house in a year and she threatened tp move the girls out of state because she has never liked VA.
thats it in a nutshell....
control. she has no control. money. you were able to take her control away in one fell swoop. by cancelling direct deposit.
she hates herself for "all she has gone through" because she feels like she took steps to control her environment and those steps didn't work.
i saw an episode of "House" once where the lady that the main character was pursuing was breaking up with him. she made a statement about the reason she was leaving him. she said "because that's the only part of this relationship i can control." or something to that effect. it really woke me up. maybe that applies here.
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separated, honoring wife and family daily, she deserves the best me i can give her.
Re: Should I give up ???
