Yesterday i received an email from my wife we have been separated for 2 weeks now. Well in her email she stated that I should move on that no matter what I did to make myself better that her feelings for me would never change and that it was over. She said the she didn't want a relationship with me or anyone else. So in your all opinion does it sound like she has made up her mind and is moving on in her life without me ? or do you think maybe she is confused and need time to sort out her feelings..
Sadly it is almost where my wife is at, just without the "it's over no matter what". I don't know your story but can you elaborate on the situation?
I will say if she has consistently being saying this it may be her true feelings. Good luck and I hope you find your happiness.
well a month ago out of the blue she told me she didnt love me anymore but didnt want me to leave or she wouldnt leave that maybe we could fall in love again. Well i started counseling to help sort through my feelings because i was starting to smother her. well this went on for a few weeks and one night she snapped and asked me to move out. When i wnet to pick up my stuff she had it all packed up by the door waiting. I mentioned that it looked like she was trying to get me out of her life.. she said yes she was didnt want me in her life she needed space. well i havent contacted her much over the 2 weeks excpet to see my girls and yesterday i sent and email saying i missed her and loved her. well she replied back that it was time to move on
that it was over and her feelings would never change if if i changed. She said she wanted to meet someone in the future who she has the same interests with and that she didnt want a relationship with me or anyone esle.. breaks my heart seeing how cold she is towards me after 15 years together..
She is confused. When she is telling it is over, she wants you to leave her alone. It is all part of her defense. I had my wife say similar things to me about 2 years ago. When you tell her you love her it actually annoys her. She does not want to hear that right now. I am not saying you should give up, I am just saying..leave her alone. Give her space. If there is still hope on your end, don't you give up. Let her make that decision. Moving forward does not mean finding another woman, but just get back into your hobbies. If you don't have any find some. This may sound weird, but if she says you are not her type anymore and you try to change to fit what she wants...she may resent you. She may see you as a pushover. I went through all of that stuff. Right now it may be best for you to just leave her alone because telling her nice things and trying is not going to work. If you want to change...do it for you, not her. If you change for her, you may end up resenting her later and you will be right back where you are now. Find a place where you are confortable with yourself and stick with it. Let her see what is out there. That is the worst part of it. You cannot imagine your wife with anyone else or yourself either, but the reality is that it may happen. Don't be so dependent on her and do not let her influence your feelings. Take this oppurtunity to find yourself again. Good luck.
i appreciate your comment I do have hope and will give her the spcae she needs. I guess its in gods hand now i will prey for her well being and hope she figures out what she wants.
I'm in the same boat as you. I have infidelity now with mine or at least emotional infidelity. I can't trust her at all and thought I could. At this point I'm now the one moving on which is where you have to start as well unfortunately. Good luck and I hope things change for you.
The Wife and I just went through one hell of a storm, and she said similar things.
Don't quit.
Don't consider quitting.
Matter of fact, double up on your efforts, and resolve to Never quit ever.
The fact you keep trying is bieng noticed, and means something, or she would have never mentioned it.
One thing is sure. If you quit, it will tell her that she is right in assuming things are over and not worth the trouble of trying anymore.
On top of that, YOU will not have done everything you could, and it will eat at you like a parasite later.
Quitters moan and snivel everytime they lose, and they wonder why they never finish ahead.
If you don't quit, and she flushes the relationship anyway, you can hold your head high after a bit. You tried.
Quitting is for the French Military, and we all know how well it has worked for them.
Say a prayer, and get back at it!
Don't quit.
I wish ya luck, and Prayers sent!
dinger
Thank you Dinger,
I have decided to give her her space she asked for, only let her do the contacting if she wishes. After getting the email from her I replied back that I would honor her request and let her be but to remember that I loved her very much and would always be there for her and my girls. That no matter what matter what happens she was still my soulmate and would always be in my thoughts and prayers. Maybe time away will make her think about what she is losing and help her to forgive. Thanks for the support and best wishes to you.
Don't give up! Don't get used though. Trust your gut instincts. You are in for some tough times man. You can do it though. If you really do love her, ride the storm.
Don't give up! Don't get used though. Trust your gut instincts. You are in for some tough times man. You can do it though. If you really do love her, ride the storm.
magicsunset08,
thanks for the kind words. I do still love her and will try almost anything to get back in her good grace. She just called me telling me our 12 year old daughter broke down last night crying uncontrolably maybe now she will see just what her actions have done to our family. It breaks my heart to hear this it didn't have to happen like this..
Don't give up! Don't get used though. Trust your gut instincts. You are in for some tough times man. You can do it though. If you really do love her, ride the storm.
__________________
--M22
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud..... it always perseveres.
thanks for the kind words. I do still love her and will try almost anything to get back in her good grace. She just called me telling me our 12 year old daughter broke down last night crying uncontrolably maybe now she will see just what her actions have done to our family. It breaks my heart to hear this it didn't have to happen like this..
Skinman
can i lend an opinion here?
kids and moms are tight...if you give to your child, really give, even if it's not around mom, you will reap the rewards. and no blame/guilt stuff either. real unconditional, one-way love toward your daughter. your wife will feel that, it will have a positive effect long-term, i promise.
__________________
separated, honoring wife and family daily, she deserves the best me i can give her.
kids and moms are tight...if you give to your child, really give, even if it's not around mom, you will reap the rewards. and no blame/guilt stuff either. real unconditional, one-way love toward your daughter. your wife will feel that, it will have a positive effect long-term, i promise.
Thanks voivod,
I appreciate all your kind words and my daughters are the most important thing to me at this point. I havent given up hope yet so keep me in your thoughts !!
Well since I received the email on Monday i have pretty much now initiated any contact with my wife. She asked me to leave her alone so I gave her her wish. Well in the past few days she has called me 5 times with small request regarding our children.
the first time she called she said "you really are trying to avoid me". I said no I was out of the office and hand't checked my voice mail yet. so last night i picked up my daughter and took her to karate practice when i got back I stopped in to say hello to my step daughter.. well in thefew minutes i was talking woth her my wife asked if i wanted to stay for dinner. I was pleasant very polite and giving off the impression that everything in my life was going good.. So I feel so good about what I accomplished and not let her see how hurt i have been by all of this I thought I would share with everyone... I still hold out hope but in the meantime I am moving on for myself.
She's missing you and flopping on what she had said originally. I figured she'd do that. She's in the midst of an emotional crisis. She just has to snap out of it.
__________________
--M22
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud..... it always perseveres.
Should I give up ???
