Re: Just trying to figure out if it's really over.
I was going to write exactly what JB did.
Sounds like she knew what she was doing all along and was deceiving you to get sex with this new guy. And now, even if there was a chance to somehow make things better and improve your marriage/relationship you would have to overcome the thought of what she did and how she went about doing it. There is unrestorable damage to the trust you had.
Even if you could get a working level of trust back, is that something you could really live with? I know for the sake of your daughter you would say yes, and I am sure you are strong enough to persist with that sacrifice, but in the end as I am trying to learn that is not a choice you have because she decided to put more value on being apart to pursue her own life than by keeping it in the marriage.
I am sorry you are going through this, I too wondered if it was over for good with my W even well into learning how far she is along her new path. Part of that is denial, part of that is just knowing how good our relationship felt at one point in time, to me I always knew the potential was always there just wanted to know why we weren't able to give each other our best.
What should you do? the only answer is whatever YOU need to do, focus on healthy things, time alone to work through your thoughts and emotions, go have some fun but don't try to get even or vindicate yourself, don't go on the rebound just use this opportunity to help make your life the way YOU want it to be. There will be a LOT of ups and downs, mostly downs for awhile, but they will level off and things will improve. Find your inner strength again. Good luck, keep in touch with this forum