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Old 11-13-2008, 11:01 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default It is official, great relationship, marriage, relationship fails

Well it is over. She just thinks she needs a few years to be on her own and be truly free to pursue her goals. I really think she is making a big mistake. I have done nothing but support her in every way possible. I have made it clear she is free to travel, or even move to somewhere for a while to pursue her career. I am a big reason she is at in life where she is now, I have always been a solid supporter of her pursuits. I now fear without a truly positive light in her life, she is going to become lost.

She says she still loves me, and wants to be best friends, and hopes we can get back together after she has had her few years. I just don't know what to think. I think she is going to end up finding out what she was looking for she had all along and gave it away.

Anyways, we are both still committed to staying friendly with each other and having a smooth divorce and hoping each other the best. I just really wish she would have thought about this before marriage. I really think she is going to regret this in the future, I wish she had some other positive role model in her life to give her good advice at this point. But I have done all I can, and she has made her choice, all I can do is respect that.

I want to thank everyone again for all their advice and opinions, it was nice to have this place to let my feelings out.
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Old 11-14-2008, 04:40 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: It is official, great relationship, marriage, relationship fails

i admit to not loving my H at the moment. but hoping with effort and work , we might get their again. i admit to wanting space at times , which i think is important - well in my relationship n e way.
but a few years space is a different concept all together.
its important to talk and vent your feelings, better than being locked away.
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Old 11-14-2008, 07:55 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: It is official, great relationship, marriage, relationship fails

A few years? Sounds like a cop-out to me. No one can predict or even hope 3 years down the road. I hope things work out for both of you. Sounds like a cowardly break-up to me. Does not sound like someone worth waiting for. That's just me.
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Old 11-14-2008, 08:26 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: It is official, great relationship, marriage, relationship fails

cbw83

So sorry to hear this. It is always sad to see a marriage end especially when one of the partners is willing to work at it. Her statement that she hopes in a few years you can get back together shows how much she still relies on you underneath. My best advice at this point is to proceed as cordially as possible through the divorce. Then let her go and move on. It is not fair of her to leave you hoping and hanging. If you do you will be in pain for years. Good luck
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Old 11-14-2008, 09:50 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: It is official, great relationship, marriage, relationship fails

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cbw83

So sorry to hear this. It is always sad to see a marriage end especially when one of the partners is willing to work at it. Her statement that she hopes in a few years you can get back together shows how much she still relies on you underneath. My best advice at this point is to proceed as cordially as possible through the divorce. Then let her go and move on. It is not fair of her to leave you hoping and hanging. If you do you will be in pain for years. Good luck
That is exactly my plan. In a few years I hope I have meant someone else who is great, and can actually appreciate me fully, and not part time. I definitely won't be waiting around, life is too precious.

I just know though, that whenever she figures out she made a huge mistake, I am going to feel really bad for her, but I guess I just have to reason with myself and know that it is her mistake to make.

I am just so very confused though. You would think she would at least want more time to figure things out, or at least try to work together and still pursue her dreams. For whatever reason though, it seems somehow it has got implanted in her head that you can't succeed in your dreams while being married.
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Old 11-14-2008, 01:49 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: It is official, great relationship, marriage, relationship fails

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For whatever reason though, it seems somehow it has got implanted in her head that you can't succeed in your dreams while being married.
I had this implanted in my head in the beginning of my relationship, too. I thought my H was holding me back. Then I talked to my mom and she straightened me out.
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Old 11-16-2008, 09:31 PM   #7 (permalink)
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I had this implanted in my head in the beginning of my relationship, too. I thought my H was holding me back. Then I talked to my mom and she straightened me out.
I wish my wife had someone with maturity and wisdom that could reason with her, but unfortunately there is just no one in her life to do that.
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Old 11-16-2008, 09:59 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: It is official, great relationship, marriage, relationship fails

Man, this just sounds crazy to me.

If you were there for her, supportive of her goals and not holding her back, why wouldn't she want to be with you? It is so much better to go through life with a supportive partner than to go through life alone.

My wife is NOT supportive of my goals and that is one reason for the problems we're having.

Best of luck to you.
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Old 11-16-2008, 11:07 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: It is official, great relationship, marriage, relationship fails

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Man, this just sounds crazy to me.

If you were there for her, supportive of her goals and not holding her back, why wouldn't she want to be with you? It is so much better to go through life with a supportive partner than to go through life alone.
apparently that's just not that important to her. too bad, especially if she paid lip service to those things. children will do that.
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