I know. I kind of lost my focus this past week. I did have a great weekend with my son, though. My daughters were away with a friend, so we had a lot of time together. He said it was the best weekend ever. I believe he has said that the last 3 weekends in a row. How long can I keep that up? lol
Until you tell him no
Seriously though, you have to remember that you're grieving a big part of your life. No matter how "right" it is to take this action, it's a big loss. I think divorce is supposed to be one of the most stressful of all the life events out there. Anger is one of the classic 7 stages of grief and so it's totally normal to have those days off and on through all of this. It's not being angry that's wrong, it's wallowing in it rather than acknowledging it and moving on that can become a problem.
lol. Admittedly, my children have not heard that word from me very much this past month or so. Maybe I am spoiling them a bit too much, but I want to make them as happy as possible through this ordeal. Nothing too over the top, but an extra dollar or two at the arcade isn't going to hurt anything. Me trying to challenge my girls on the dancing thing where you have to step on the appropriate arrows at the appropriate time may have, though. I'm kind of sore. lol
Anger is one of the classic 7 stages of grief and so it's totally normal to have those days off and on through all of this. It's not being angry that's wrong, it's wallowing in it rather than acknowledging it and moving on that can become a problem.
The anger was more intense this past time than it has been on my earlier trips around this stupid roller coaster. Today, the anger is subsiding as I round the bend to the depression stage. I can hardly concentrate at all today. I'll be glad when I get off this darn ride.
Regarding the "dance thing" arcade game.......keep it up, good practice for when you start dating again (when your ready).
The dating thing will be quite a while. But I do have fun dancing with my girls. My mom said there was a place she knew of that has dancing in a family atmosphere. My daughter loves doing some of the country dances around the kitchen. I've been thinking I'd like to take them somewhere with a real dance floor. Maybe I'll look into that place.
It's funny, because the kids and I talked about that. That would probably be a good business. We said we would call it the "Family Dance Club" or something like that. I found a bar that has some good dancing, but the dance floor don't even get started until around 10:00. I'm getting too old to close down a club and go to work the next morning. lol
Had an awesome weekend with the kids. It was pretty action packed, with their first college football game, visiting family, birthday party, etc. My daughter said last night this weekend was better than a holiday weekend. She couldn't believe we did so much.
I was feeling very strong. At the exchange this morning, my stbxw had made me some coffee as I was getting ready. She walked me to the door as if to give a goodbye hug. I just walked out. I wanted to hug her so bad. She looked so good and was being so nice. But I just walked away. I do want to be cordial, but hugging or anything else just rips my heart out more. You would think it would be easy to just walk away after all of this. I guess those feelings take time to fade.
We are close to agreeing on everything. I had said I was filing last week one way or the other. That was the pure hatred talking as she was with him a couple of weekends ago. The reality is that we have a lot to get in order. Taking a little more time to get rid of all of the assets in the best financial way possible would be prudent. On the home, we have 3 properties adjoining our property currently for sale. My understanding is that if I file and it goes through the courts now, we would be forced to sale the house at auction. If I take some time to fix it up some and put it on the market, we would probably come out many thousand dollars better off.
We are working on liquidating everything and paying off some debt. I have a new place pretty much furnished whenever I get ready. One friend with a couch, another with a TV, etc. My biggest obstacle will be getting rid of our house. That may take some time.
I'm getting back to working on things rationally instead of a knee-jerk reaction based on anger, etc.
We are close to agreeing on everything. I had said I was filing last week one way or the other. That was the pure hatred talking as she was with him a couple of weekends ago. The reality is that we have a lot to get in order. Taking a little more time to get rid of all of the assets in the best financial way possible would be prudent. On the home, we have 3 properties adjoining our property currently for sale. My understanding is that if I file and it goes through the courts now, we would be forced to sale the house at auction. If I take some time to fix it up some and put it on the market, we would probably come out many thousand dollars better off.
We are working on liquidating everything and paying off some debt. I have a new place pretty much furnished whenever I get ready. One friend with a couch, another with a TV, etc. My biggest obstacle will be getting rid of our house. That may take some time.
I'm getting back to working on things rationally instead of a knee-jerk reaction based on anger, etc.
Good to hear you had a great weekend with the kids. Who did you go see? Vandy? BTW GO BIG BLUE! (UK fan here)
Good to hear you had a great weekend with the kids. Who did you go see? Vandy? BTW GO BIG BLUE! (UK fan here)
We went to see Georgia Tech kick MTSU's butt. We were hoping for a different outcome, but that is what we witnessed. lol I went to school there (MTSU) and a buddy of mine had an extra ticket. It was also good to see him. I ran into several of my old friends there. The kids had a blast. My 9 year old has decided she wants to go to college there. "How old do I have to be to go to college?"
I may have some tickets to take them to one of the Titans' games. One of our vendors at work offered 3 tickets for a customer appreciation day. I told him if he can make it 4, I'll take them. I wouldn't even attempt to pick 2 to go with me and leave 1 of them out. I hope they are able to come up with that extra ticket. They are for a skybox, fully catered, etc. Let's see weasel boy try to compete with that.
We went to see Georgia Tech kick MTSU's butt. We were hoping for a different outcome, but that is what we witnessed. lol I went to school there (MTSU) and a buddy of mine had an extra ticket. It was also good to see him. I ran into several of my old friends there. The kids had a blast. My 9 year old has decided she wants to go to college there. "How old do I have to be to go to college?"
I may have some tickets to take them to one of the Titans' games. One of our vendors at work offered 3 tickets for a customer appreciation day. I told him if he can make it 4, I'll take them. I wouldn't even attempt to pick 2 to go with me and leave 1 of them out. I hope they are able to come up with that extra ticket. They are for a skybox, fully catered, etc. Let's see weasel boy try to compete with that.
Sweet. I'm stuck in Rams country so..... would like to find the time go to a game when the 49ers come to town though. Man I miss Steve Young. LOL
Well, the Titans game isn't going to happen. It is free food, great view, etc. However, upon talking to the person offering the tickets, it is also free alcohol. It is going to be one heck of a party, so not a good place to take the kids to. He said I can have tickets, it just won't be appropriate for kids. I told him no thanks. It sounds like a lot of fun, but I choose to do something with my kids whenever I get the chance.
It is very frustrating sharing the house. I'm working on some repairs hoping to increase the odds of selling it quickly. I still have about 5 houses within 100 yards of my house for sale, 3 of which adjoin my property. I can't wait to have everything settled and have my own place and everything that entails.
UUGGGGHHHH! We had an argument this morning at the exchange. My stbxw just informed me that our daughter had been sitting on the steps and heard me cussing out her mother. Of course, she didn't fill in the reasoning I was so pissed off. How is it that she can do all of this BS, I get pissed and cuss her out, and I'm being verbally and emotionally abusive? She mentioned today that she is not having an affair. We are separated, so it isn't an affair. What the hell is that? OK, we are living in separate residences, but we are still married for now. That makes it not an affair? Whatever! I'm just so ready for this **** to be done. Maybe I should just take the hit on selling the house as is with too much competition. I'll eventually recover financially, but if I have to interact with her too much more, I may not be able to recover emotionally. It just pisses me off so much that she has made her choice for this affair and I have to pay too many consequences for her actions. I only get to see my kids part time. I'll have to pay her alimony for a while. I get to look like the bad guy in front of my daughter. (OK. I shouldn't have been cussing her out. I just can't tell my daughter the reason because I'm not supposed to say anything bad to the kids about their mother. So, while I feel I was fully justified in everything I said, I will not be able to give that justification to my daughter.) The **** just keeps piling on. I feel like I'm totally losing my mind. Damn, I hate these days.
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Re: Day 1 of separation 
