We had a good discussion last night. I showed her the phones that I had found that we can get on a family plan. She does not want to do that right now.
I had forgotten one very important factor. I am a wayward spouse. Or was. Her D-Day was only a couple of months ago or so. My actions were quite a bit in the past and there is no temptation on my part to ever go there again. I am quite disgusted with myself on the things I did. However, they are new to her. She is still dealing with that. We discussed it a good bit. It was a calm discussion and not a fight.
I have done what is recommended for wayward spouses. I told the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I answered every single question promptly and honestly. No trickle truth, no covering up, total and complete transparency. I have made many positive changes, but I have to give her time to process it. I can't push it. I was thinking about the case on here this morning of the couple where he had been posting for a while and then she started a thread as well. I can't remember the names, but she seemed very remorseful. Then, more information came out that she had made out with OM when she had already said she had told the complete truth. I believe the last I heard that they had decided to split. No matter how remorseful she was, that was an understandable choice on his side. It is her choice.
I do believe things are warming up, though. It will be a slow road, but one I must travel. I did things I shouldn't have done, so I must pay the consequences of moving slowly. As one good friend keeps telling me, concentrate on the relationship and not the affair. Build a relationship that is solid and there will be no worry about any other men.
If I hadn't been unfaithful as well, I suppose the hard road may be the way to go. But I was, so patience and understanding look to be the way to go. It has to come from her heart or it will be no good. I could force the issue on getting rid of the phone, but if it's not from her heart, she could just get another one. I have dug a very deep hole in the love bank department and it will take time to get a positive balance back.
On a very positive note, she did give me an extremely uplifting compliment last night.