FixMyHead

While there would be a certain amount of enjoyment in that, the impact that could have on my family could be pretty bad at this point. Once I can break away (and believe me I'm doing it as fast as I can with my kid's well being in mind) this is defiantly a consideration. I just need to get to a place where my children and I aren't dependent on her paycheck and government quarters. If she is sent to the restricted barracks for this I could be potentially served a 30 eviction notice and her pay could be cut drastically. I have some family coming this weekend and I am going to them about helping me out in the mean time. If they will, then I will be going to her command and blowing this thing wide open. Just gotta make sure the kids are taken care of in the mean time. I'd temporary leave for a week or two to get away, but I'm fairly sure my wife is showing some psychopathic symptoms and I hate to think of what could happen in two weeks to my kids. BTW.... I told her I was done last night. She has called me twice and seemed like she was searching for any thing to talk about. I told her I was busy and said bye as I am not interested in talking endlessly anymore.

calif_hope

Good work on the calls (read up on the 180), my suggestion was to GO TO HIS command, since she is sole support of two kids, likely they would't do much to her other than Letter of Repremand, ask HIS CO for help in getting the a$$ h&$$ out of you marriage so you can work on it. Worked in a similar case, command sent the OM on an immediate 2 month TDY, with direct and written orders that if he made contact or replied to contact with WW he would face Captains Mast and face a less than honorable discharge. The WW received orders for mandatory counceling with a padre - a temp letter of reprimand (removed if good conduct for 1 year). If she wants to separate, you can petition fir housing allowance and payroll draw.
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FixMyHead

They are in the same command.

HurtinginTN

Even better. Are they equal rank? Fraternization is frowned upon, especially if one outranks the other. Since she is married, it falls under adultery. Adultery is specified in the Uniform Code of Military Justice. Adultery for sure, fraternization maybe. I'd report them.

calif_hope

Actually, that your WW and the OM are in the same command makes things easier for you.

Go ASAP, to your commands Chaplain, ask for his/her help in getting OM away from your wife, as for help from Chaplain to go with you to command to report relationship.

Let me tell you, they will focus on him, not your wife in any intervention - they always assume the male is the agressor.

Act man, you have a power many of us wish we had.

If you want to sofen the approach, ask the Chaplain to talk to the OM, ask the Chaplain to tell the OM to keep meeting between themselves - ask the Chaplain to tell the OM to end the relationship immediately on his own occord or the UCMJ will be evoked and command noified. Also, require no contract or command will be notified. Have him suggest that the OM ask for a transfer....if the OM cares about his navy career he will drop her like a hot potato...

It will be easier to work on your marriage and to make the decision to stay or go without him in the picture.

FixMyHead

Once I do that, assuming that this guy isn't a complete idot and either breaks off communication or transfers, I am concerned the welling being of my children and any type of ability to provide for them in my current situation will devolve. I'm not to worried about pissing her off, and in this county she cant even divorce me instantly without a 2 month mediation process so I suppose she will be forced to support us till that time is up. Being as I wish she would return on her own accord, I guess I have to consider she may be so involved in the affair that she can't accept the truth of the situation.

calif_hope

The JAG/Family Services will ensure that you will get an allotment for support and % of other benefits, including housing. Look don't make assumptions and think you know. Go and talk to the appropriate departments on base. You will be supporised on the support you and your kids are eligible for.

Look, you have a mission and have the rightious cause on your side. Their is a system to support you, in todays Navy you will be afforded all the support and services Navy wives receive in similar circumstnces.

Get a trusted part to watch your kids, gather any infomation/proof you have, and start talking to the appropriate parties.

That they are in the same command makes things easier for you. That you are an unemployed stay at home father of two depemendents - you will be taken care of. You can ask them to order the OM to have NO contact with your wife, they can send him away for a while or just transfer him depending on his MOS and assignment. When they order him to have no contact and he violates that he wil face a Capatin's mast that can result in delayed promotion, reduction in rank, loss of pay, fines, and even a less than honarable.

You will be supported!

upset/confused

Instead of going to his Command, go to her commander and have them place a no-contact order on both of them. She will no longer be able to contact him without violating the order. This forces them to stop and try to re-group. The commander should tell her somthing to the affect of no contact, no calling, etc until your are legally separated or divorced on paper, not because she says so.

It will make her furious but they will have to stop. If they are caught after that, it is on her...all it takes is a picture from the coffee shop and she will mostly like get put out.

calif_hope

Remember they are in the same command, going to het command not the best option as it places her first, and opens a case on her as offending party. Going to his CO and filing a complaint against him will result in an order of no contact under UCMJ, same outcome as dazed/confused but less potential to damage her career also, it still might happen. As a former JAG, my advice see his CO ASAP!
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