How to go about this...?
First of all...I'm so glad I found this site. I've only been here few days, and it already gave me tremendous comfort to know that I am not the only one going through this grief that my marriage situation has put me.
So...my husband and i have been separated for over 6 months now. I have faults, I was insecure, demanding, and unforgiving. My husband is inconsistent, unkind, and lacks understanding. At the time we separated, I thought it was a temporary thing, just to have a breather. Lately, I've come to realize that I can't change my husband, I can only change me. So I started being kind, telling him I miss him and I love him, asked him to forgive me for all the hurt that I've caused him, and that I still want to work on the marriage. But the more I show kindness, understanding and consideration to my husband, the more I feel like I am enabling his arrogance. He feels like he has no accountability on the demise of our marriage. He continuously tells me that he doesn't know where he's at, continuous to be critical of me, continuous to tell me that I shouldn't get my hopes up of ever reconcilling because I have hurt him a lot. I'm like...WTF??!! You didn't hurt me?! But I held my tounge, didn't want to make matters worse than it already is.
right now...I'm numb, I feel like i'd prefer to beat the crap out of this man to make him come to his senses and make him realize he has responsibility in keeping the marriage as well. I swear...sometimes, I feel like my husband is the girl in our marriage.
sorry...just very very frustrated and venting. I can't say this to my Pastor since he's going to tell me it's not the Christian thing to do and think. And he is right...just very angry right now.