Originally Posted by confusedinlove View Post
Thanks all for the support. It has been tough but I know it's the right decision. It really helps me to hear other points of view - he has told me for so long that I have so many issues and I'm so difficult that no one but him will love me. I know he's just trying to isolate me more by saying that, but after hearing it for so long, it takes a toll on my self esteem.
Work has been difficult. I'm pretty sensitive to others' actions, so it's really hard for me to focus and do my job when he's being a jerk. And it's not that easy to just get up and get a new job - it's tough in my field right now.
He still needs to get his stuff out of my house. I'm planning on giving it to him next week, before I go on vacation, so if he feels like lashing out I will be out of town.
To answer Catherine 602's question, no, my parent's don't know anything (even that we're together). We had a big blow-out about 2 years ago when I was living with him, where he kicked me and all my stuff to the curb in the middle of the night in the rain. My parents had to pick me up. After that, I haven't had the heart to tell them that I was stupid enough to get back with him, so the relationship has been a secret. Which is part of the reason I don't get to spend much time with my parents.
First - Have you ever head of Stockholm Syndrome? Look it up, you have been a prisoner, now that you are out, you will begin to see your own reality not his dark sick vision.
He picked you out at 19 because you were young enough to look up to him. Now you can see him for the loser he is. Throw him out of your life and your mind. You are the one who will go on to successful relationships he is very unlikely to find a woman who wants him.
There is nothing wrong with you. In fact you sound very well put together young woman. You are smart enough to get out of this know, so give yourself credit.
You should be angry not guilty at kicking him to the curb. His problems are many but he is the only one to solve them.
He took many things away and you owe him nothing but the kick in the butt he deserves.
It will not take you long to recover but you must have NO CONTACT or you will prolong your recovery.
Please tell your parents and rely on their support.
I suggest that you associate with other young people with an optimistic frame of mind and plans for their future. It will boost your joy of life and help you to readjust to a normal life.
Never let a man isolate you and date men who are your equal in ambition and don't be dazzled by older men.
Young men are starting out like you and they have a fresh outlook and a far less likely to have the baggage of an older man looking for a young woman to prop up their ego.