Is this common or am I crazy?

upset/confused · 08-13-2011, 05:42 AM

My H came home said Divorce, right. He moved out and left me with the kids. Ok...wanted physical separation...ok whatever

So he is sitting on the fence now, for 5 weeks, so I went and sought legal advice. He got mad. I combed the internet downloading forms for child custody, division of assets/debts and a visitation schedule.

I dont want the divorce, but why wont he do anything towards ending it?

We dont speak unless it is about the kids. If I have something to say, I send a simple email, like, please pick up the kids at 2 and I will return by 6.

So why am I doing all the work?

Does anyone have insight into this?

Seanpgrnc · 08-13-2011, 06:58 AM

Seems to be a head game some people like to play. They start throwing around the D word and then get all butt hurt when you start to fall in line with it. They like to use it as a tool to validate their own self worth and then try to play the victim card when it doesn't work out as they planned. My wife has been kinda doing the same thing. It makes them feel like they are in a position of power so why actually speed through the divorce and give up the power? People suck.....
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upset/confused · 08-13-2011, 07:00 AM

Im not willing to hang on much longer. I could care less is his EA works out or not. I need to get off this rock so that I can begin to repair. Staying here in the house with all these memoriesis horrific.

Seanpgrnc · 08-13-2011, 07:08 AM

I can only imagine. Very sorry you are going through this. I know that when I finally gave up any hope of a reconciliation, things started to feel a little bit better. It's only been a little under 2 months for me but the good days are starting to outnumber the bad ones. Keep your chin up.
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Jellybeans · 08-13-2011, 08:05 AM

You can file divorce yourself.
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Seanpgrnc · 08-13-2011, 08:41 AM

^ that
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upset/confused · 08-13-2011, 08:55 AM

I am the one doing the legal separation paperwork. Then when I get relocated to the US and get a full time job, the spousal mx will stop and I will be the one to file for divorce...I said this on another thread, but he had the nerve to ask me to move to his home town so his family could see the boys grow up. Once I leave here we are a 4 days drive from his folks. What a jerk

Jellybeans · 08-13-2011, 09:07 AM

Don't worry about him. He no longer has your best interest. Its ridiculous he even suggested the move to you and selfish as hell. Just kee p moving forward.
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upset/confused · 08-13-2011, 09:17 AM

I am moving forward, I am just tired of carrying the load.

I hope he wakes up with such regret one day.

upset/confused · 08-30-2011, 10:17 PM

Today I am lonely and broken. Wish I could feel better.

20matc11 · 08-31-2011, 09:40 AM

I am in a similar situation. Thankfully no kids involved. It has been rocky for quite a while (she continued an affair and blamed me for it, lots of yelling about how she hates me and me yelling back) and the W and I both realized that "a move had to be made". She felt that it was a move away from each other, said herself that it was going to be difficult, but when I actually brought the dissolution paperwork back to our apartment she got upset. I backed off and suggested a separation.

The yelling got worse than ever during moving out, but I was the only one she could rely on to help her. Its been a little over a month. We have spoken several times, most of them fights, but she also came off like she expects me to feel sorry that she is alone.

I agree with Seanpgrnc. It is a head game to see how much they can control the situation and how much they can get you to do for them. Work has been busy lately but is starting to slow down and I'm going through the good day bad day cycle too. Hopefully it will get better.

Jellybeans · 08-31-2011, 10:12 AM

Hugs to you my dear!! It does get better with each passing day though it may not feel like it.