Rachel-

Hi,
I'm going through a very rough time. I'm separated since 2 months because I simply couldn't get any more criticism from my husband. He is older than me, more than 20 years, and after our 2 girls arrived, life together has been harder. I found myself always running around while my husband always finds time for his beloved computer and TV. He doesn't work and doesn't help me in the house. We made our living investing and reselling properties. The last just doesn't sell, being such a dead market for everybody at the moment. So we have now a huge loan with the bank that we cannot repay and 2 very young princesses, 2 and 4 years old, to grow.
In our last discussion my husband told me that if we fill in a form the bank will give us an extension of 6 months on our loan in order to try again to sell our property. But he said he doesn't want to do it because he cannot go on living like this with the 2 of us not talking and him having to clean the outside every week and that he doesn't care any more. I tried to make him understand that we are both resposable for our 2 daughters but he still said he doesn't care. I said "so you don't love them.." he answered "don't put words in my mouth"
I think he is just bluffing trying to regain control over me and it looks to me as if he cannot stand for me to be opinionated and answer him back, even when I'm right.
He always finds way to make me feel guilty and today I find myself with no friends or family near me and dealing with him trying to make me believe that he will let this family literally starve because he cannot face another day in this situation.
I wander if he can see himself from the outside..he looks to me as a little boy having a tantrum...if I feel bad and sad than everybody else in this family have to feel the same.
I don't know what to do, inside i feel a little scared a part from angry and disappointed. I want to accept the extension but if he doen't agree how can I overcome this disaster??

Please someone help me with a good advice,
I want to make sure my little princess will have a decent future, the house is all we've got.

Thank you for listening,
a very sad girl.

Catherine602

If you are concerned about your future and that of your kids, then you have to make it happen. At this point your husband sounds beaten but you don't so, it needs to be you. Find out what needs to be done and tell him that for the sake of his children he must do the right thing.

Do you work? Have you gone to school? If not, begin to plan your future and get a line on a decent line of work. You will need to work to support yourself and your kids. Even if you stay with your husband, he is 20 yes older and you will outlive him by many years. That is all the more reason for you to take responsibility for your financial future.
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