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Going Through Divorce or Separation A new addition to our forums, a place to go for sharing and support for those going through divorce and separation.

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Old 09-07-2011, 08:47 PM   #31 (permalink)
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Default Re: I'm running blind

I'm going to hold it together. I'll be strong!
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Old 09-07-2011, 08:58 PM   #32 (permalink)
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Yes you need to be keep your head up and be strong! DO NOT let her see any emotion over this think of what she has put you through!
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Old 09-07-2011, 09:04 PM   #33 (permalink)
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I'll keep thinking that thanks, she'll be here in 5 minutes
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Old 09-07-2011, 09:13 PM   #34 (permalink)
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Alright we are pulling for you man. Game face on!
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Old 09-08-2011, 12:13 AM   #35 (permalink)
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dhpool,

How are you doing brother ?
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Old 09-08-2011, 12:41 AM   #36 (permalink)
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I hope she hasnt hid him under the floor

*STOMPING ON FLOOR*
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Old 09-08-2011, 01:16 AM   #37 (permalink)
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So I'm back, I kinda got what I wanted but I now have to live with my consequences. She will be moving back into the house so she can finish the house. We both felt that that was the right decision. I didn't loose my cool at all. I was calm, thanks to you guys giving me a pep talk before she got here. I really appreciate this board because I don't have anyone I can really express my feeling to. I recorded the whole conversation with my iphone. One of the things she said was, "I don't want to live in a mediocre marriage, and If I have to be single until I find GREAT, or maybe I'll be single the rest of my life, then I'm willing to do that, I hope I didn't just jinx myself"

Those words cut very deep, right before she said that she said "that we had something great and everyone was jealous of our Marriage, and everybody envy's and still envy's us because we get along so well" WTF

Then she brings up her cousin and how they have been married for 16 years and love each-other more now than ever. So it's almost like everything she wants is something I can't give her, She says were missing something.

She's not willing to go to counseling she done with counselors.

There is a quick update.

BTW Mediocre??? I know I brought this up before, but I don't know how may other people out there she will be able to find that will be able to take her to all the places I have been able to take her. Costa Rica, Rome, Turkey, Switzerland, Italy , France, Monte Carlo, Spain, Every Island in the Caribbean, Cozumel, Cancun, countless times to Vail, Whistler BC, Aspen, ECT. Apparently I'm one mediocre guy.

I know trips don't make a marriage, but DAMN mediocre????

Long Story short, I will be moving into my brothers house, not really wanting to though. But at least I don't have to pay a $3,000 a month mortgage. She can afford it so I'm not really worried about that. Her pride won't be able to come to me for money.

What do you guys think. Sorry it took long to write back I've been in deep thought. I really appreciate the support from you guys before she got here. It was a life saver.
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Old 09-08-2011, 01:41 AM   #38 (permalink)
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As in the words of Charlie Sheen, you are "WINNING" the pressure relief will allow you to open yourself to other possibilities, a new place for you, exercising, going out, etc. Let her experience real mediocre out there. Men able and willing to show you a good time are few and far between. To rub it in, stay ready for her, always have somewhere to go (even by yourself) and looking good and pleasant...it will eat he insides out LOLOLOL
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Old 09-08-2011, 01:48 AM   #39 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by hesnothappy View Post
As in the words of Charlie Sheen, you are "WINNING" the pressure relief will allow you to open yourself to other possibilities, a new place for you, exercising, going out, etc. Let her experience real mediocre out there. Men able and willing to show you a good time are few and far between. To rub it in, stay ready for her, always have somewhere to go (even by yourself) and looking good and pleasant...it will eat he insides out LOLOLOL

What do you mean by Stay Ready for her? I do have an extra 3,000 reasons a month to go out. Me and the guys have already got a limo night ready for Friday. Should be fun, still not the same without female companionship.
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Old 09-08-2011, 02:07 AM   #40 (permalink)
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I mean, always seem mysterious and have her wondering what you are up to. Get sharp on her and let her see you leaving and looking happy on the outside, even though your heart is breaking and you are only going to the movies of someplace. I know what you mean, after 5 years with someone steady and dependable, when my big headed azz H left I felt the winds out of my sails, and the still are not flying right because I have no one to spend time doing what I like doing, and it is hard and lonely.
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Old 09-08-2011, 09:29 AM   #41 (permalink)
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Well congrats man. You held it together. Sounds like you gave her to much so she thinks there just might be better out there but guess what it will be hard for her to find! She will realize that one day. And I agree with HNH just go out smiling wherever you go and dont never let her know what your doing. Be short with her and dont give in.
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Old 09-08-2011, 09:45 AM   #42 (permalink)
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Thanks for the advise, One part that really sucked is she said if I was asking her now if we are going through a "Separation" or moving forward with a "Divorce" she said "If I was asking right now to make a decision it would be Divorce". So I guess this is where I have to start the acceptance phase, I'm not ready for that. The rejection is killing me. I woke up at 4:30 this morning and couldn't go back to sleep. Why is life so cruel???
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Old 09-08-2011, 09:51 AM   #43 (permalink)
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I know how you feel man. I would get out of there as quick as possible and implement the 180 with no or as little contact as possible. She said divorce and that is what you need to pursue. Its a hard thing to accept but believe me it will get easier and better just surround yourself with good people and get through it taking one day at a time.

As I said in another thread "Life just deals the cards We play the hand"
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Old 09-08-2011, 11:28 AM   #44 (permalink)
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GM, hope you are feeling better was you were able to get some sleep. Don't delay getting the legal ball rolling, so that you both won't be held liable for what happens in each other's life. A scary as it seems, life just goes back to what you were before getting with you mate, and chances are that is not bad.
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Old 09-08-2011, 11:30 PM   #45 (permalink)
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Just an update, I have moved in with my brother and his family. Really sad, and she has moved into the house. I get to save money I guess that's the only positive. I will continue my "Mediocre" life!

My wife just purchased a 70K truck today. This is typical of her to passify herself with something new when she is going through a hard time. She wants to deflect her feeling into something new.
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