The Toolkit of the Confident Man - Page 10 - Talk About Marriage
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post #136 of 188 (permalink) Old 06-25-2016, 10:31 PM Thread Starter
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Re: The Toolkit of the Confident Man

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I like Chick-Fil-A


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post #137 of 188 (permalink) Old 06-25-2016, 10:34 PM Thread Starter
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Re: The Toolkit of the Confident Man

And, tonight... at a memorial gathering.

I'm waiting in a bit of a line to express my condolences to her father.

She makes eye contact and sits her narrow little ass down next to a guy that groped her within the last decade or so.

Remember - this is about how she treats me.

So, tonight we're not talking or anything else.

Her men..... zero tolerance.
'
Not expecting an apology - like that would ever happen.

Mav... I'm on it.

Appointment with counselor this week.

If she won't attend, the session will still happen.
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post #138 of 188 (permalink) Old 06-26-2016, 07:13 AM
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Re: The Toolkit of the Confident Man

Wow.

Resentment is strong with this one.

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post #139 of 188 (permalink) Old 06-26-2016, 09:10 AM Thread Starter
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Re: The Toolkit of the Confident Man

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Wow.

Resentment is strong with this one.

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Junky,

Boundaries are boundaries.

She was kissing the ass of her daughter most of the night. Basically, it was like they were a couple. Can I get you something to drink? Here, let's go look at the pictures. Do you remember this person from out-of-state?

As I've said, I have zero expectations in that area.

However, when her daughter breaks away, it's decision time. You're walking across the room. You make eye contact with your husband who is standing near your father - clearly waiting to speak with him. There's a chair open between this person I've mentioned from the past. Of course, I shouldn't know this, but this is a person she's dreamed about for years - including the phrase "simmering sexuality". As mentioned, while his wife (yes the same wife here) was drunk dancing at a party, this guy groped her. Hand on her thigh highs.

So, it's decision time. Do you join your husband, or do you sit next to this guy to chat him up?

You make the call.
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post #140 of 188 (permalink) Old 06-26-2016, 09:42 AM
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Re: The Toolkit of the Confident Man

She already did make the call.

And I don't see it as her wanting that guy necessarily, but as a power play to hit you where it hurts.

She knew exactly what she was doing. The more interesting question is why? What led to the resentment?

However, the why wouldn't matter so much, at least to me. That kind of stuff from my wife would result in her returning to the house with a suitcase packed on the front porch. If my partner is more interested in trying to hurt me rather than work through things, it is time to cut bait.

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post #141 of 188 (permalink) Old 06-26-2016, 09:55 AM Thread Starter
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Re: The Toolkit of the Confident Man

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She already did make the call.

And I don't see it as her wanting that guy necessarily, but as a power play to hit you where it hurts.

She knew exactly what she was doing. The more interesting question is why? What led to the resentment?

However, the why wouldn't matter so much, at least to me. That kind of stuff from my wife would result in her returning to the house with a suitcase packed on the front porch. If my partner is more interested in trying to hurt me rather than work through things, it is time to cut bait.

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post #142 of 188 (permalink) Old 06-26-2016, 10:48 AM
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Re: The Toolkit of the Confident Man

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Taking the strong man down is in the playbook of the disordered.
I know. I totally understand that it is them projecting themselves onto the strong in an effort to get the strong to feel the same way they do: scared.

My line of questioning in this has NOTHING to do with HER. It has EVERYTHING to do with YOU.

I am left with the thought that you like having the tiger by the tail; need having the tiger close.

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post #143 of 188 (permalink) Old 06-26-2016, 03:12 PM
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Re: The Toolkit of the Confident Man

It's her way of leveling the playing field.




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post #144 of 188 (permalink) Old 06-26-2016, 05:41 PM
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Re: The Toolkit of the Confident Man

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It's her way of leveling the playing field.




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I know. I totally recognize the dynamic.

Again, she is not my concern.

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post #145 of 188 (permalink) Old 06-26-2016, 05:50 PM
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Re: The Toolkit of the Confident Man

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I know. I totally understand that it is them projecting themselves onto the strong in an effort to get the strong to feel the same way they do: scared.

My line of questioning in this has NOTHING to do with HER. It has EVERYTHING to do with YOU.

I am left with the thought that you like having the tiger by the tail; need having the tiger close.

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RTZ is at what many of us divorced guys would characterize as a precipice.

That point where it seems she's about to go off the deep end. But she doesn't. He seems to be able to do the right thing at the right time.

I would never do that now. Would I have done if I were still married? You bet.

He is managing because he loves her and, despite some of her actions, she loves him.

RTZ has managed to hold this together for quite some time.



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post #146 of 188 (permalink) Old 06-26-2016, 06:02 PM
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Re: The Toolkit of the Confident Man

Precipice dancing. Again, I recognize it. I also know the history.

I am one of those people that needs peace in my home. Sleeping with one eye open is not my idea of peace.

I don't question his ability to continue to hold it together. It's clear he has a handle on that, and has for some time.



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post #147 of 188 (permalink) Old 06-26-2016, 06:28 PM
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Re: The Toolkit of the Confident Man

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Precipice dancing. Again, I recognize it. I also know the history.

I am one of those people that needs peace in my home. Sleeping with one eye open is not my idea of peace.

I don't question his ability to continue to hold it together. It's clear he has a handle on that, and has for some time.



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I agree with you.

It's just not his perspective right now.




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post #148 of 188 (permalink) Old 06-26-2016, 08:24 PM
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Re: The Toolkit of the Confident Man

Is precipice on the menu at Chick-Fil-A?

A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
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post #149 of 188 (permalink) Old 06-26-2016, 08:25 PM
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Re: The Toolkit of the Confident Man

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Is precipice on the menu at Chick-Fil-A?


As an appetizer.



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post #150 of 188 (permalink) Old 06-26-2016, 08:30 PM
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Re: The Toolkit of the Confident Man

Is it from the porcupine combo or only gotten from the appetizer section?

A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
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