Let me be a bit more specific.
When she's around her kids, all bets are off. She sees her kids as an extension of her. I used to resent how she catered to them and kissed their asses- expecting nothing from them.
But, really... that's their problem, not mine.
It's not about me in the slightest. So, you crack that particular code and you come to "enjoy" the alone time when her kids are in the picture.
Hey - no one expects any money or help from me? No college tuition. No insurance payments. No gas money. Nothing.
Could be much much worse.
When she throws a party for one of them, they all leave without doing a single dish. Once a week passes by, I'll slip my daughter 15 bucks and she'll clean up the place.
Also, being able to see through all this (after years of beating your head against the wall) is quite liberating.
Do I really need to waste my time learning about the blind spots of someone else?
Same situation with WC. After she kicked him (son) out in 2011..... he was rarely around the year prior
being he laid up with his drugs and thugs friends..... his "friends" ditched him. He lost his job and
could not afford to give THEM HIS money or chauffer their arses.
WC was already crying over.... does he have a coat (it was cold), is he hungry... things ALL moms worry about.
I never said one thing about it.... I knew it was hard to kick him out. If she hadn't, I was going to.
I also knew he would eventually "poor mouth" her. That took about.... 3-4 months. He would stop by
about once a week (I would leave the room...WC did have a right to see him) and I knew she was giving him $.
That led to twice a week and WC starting the "he has no place to go" routine. WC knew fast, he was not coming
back home UNLESS every stolen item was recovered or I was told who stole it and file a police report.
The kid stood up for them even after they started throwing him under the bus. All I asked for was a sit-down with him.
At first, WC was in full agreement. That waned as time passed and he got in her head.
It virtually came down to "me or him," and I knew what her choice would be. I didn't want her to
make that choice but I knew she would. This wasn't the only catalyst in DDay but it was a major one.
I do not regret holding firm the least bit. I'd do it again if I had a do-over. If I can't feel safe in my own
home, there's a fvcking problem.
Today.... almost four years later, he can't hold a job, sells hot guns, stolen items, pills, you name it.
The one brother she had I thought the world of, keeps me posted on him. Do I still worry about him.....
a bit... he was my son for 15 years. But TBH... I want to see him crash and burn like I told WC he would.
Near DDay, we had a huge fight over money, WC was paying his car payment. But the money she used were
bill money. I came with it once, next month I said no. "It's my business if I want to pay his car payment."
"No.... if I have to cover your bills you let go to pay his car payment, I am in essence... paying his car payment."
She acted like she was confused.... truth told she was mad as hell being called out.
DDay was a month after that lovely chat.
Had I caved and let him move back in... his respect for me would have been zero.... as would WCs.
It's like how some women cry an ocean if you're honest with them about the fact, they are fat.
If... the guy refuses to tell her and says she looks pretty.... eventually she will realize she is fat
and blame him for not being "connected" enough to tell her.
Yeah Chuck... yous crayzay. Wanna bet?