12-03-2008, 10:09 AM
Join Date: Nov 2008
| | Re: It can be tough
Originally Posted by tkdan
Yeah we're seeing a marriage counsulor and working on the marriage. I have been reluctant to have a serious talk to her about it. I have made some small talk about it but have not expressed my true feelings. She feels at this point it would cause more harm than good. We are doing daily communication exercises as homework for the marriage counsulor and that is going good. We take turns picking a topic and I guess I could pick that as a topic. We are supposed to pick touchy issues to discuss because that is where we have had a breakdown in communication. I'm afraid it might get heated and we are to avoid heated discussions during our communication practices.
When we were separated, my husband wanted to still have sex. Kinda of like getting the milk for free, but not paying for the cow. I did not want to have sex with him because he thought that everything was ok and did not see the problems. From my perspective, sex changes a relationship and we were progressing nicely and I did not want to see all the changes we had made be disregarded. I think this is why she is standing her ground. I would respect her decision because sex is emotional for many woman and you want her to have sex with you because she wants to.
I think you can definitely bring it up as a topic. If it is important to you, it needs to be addressed. Talk about it, but be open and really listen to what she is telling you!