Also, random thought.
Noticing how closely I stuck to the BS script, after reading so many other threads. Particularly the loss of weight. Between the time I got "that feeling" that things weren't right and the time I left, I lost 50 lbs. Some due to not being hungry and not sleeping well, but plenty due to 2 hrs a day at the gym going all out. It was like I had no choice, it was go time and I couldn't ignore it any longer. At first I think I was doing it for my W, hoping to effect a change in her view of me, but deep down I guess it was for me, and still is. Down 5 more pounds in the last 2 weeks. Granted, I had the 50+ to lose (6'2", was 250ish at my peak), but wondering what % of people in that situation automatically lose a bunch of weight? Just curious...
It seems to be one of the hidden benefits of going through that much stress, pain and confusion. Like your body knows "holy crap, you better get your a** in shape if you're gonna be able to handle what's coming!" Like it just knows what's best for you, even if the lack of sleep and appetite are hard to manage at the time. Just had dinner last night with a work colleague that I last saw 3 weeks ago...he had commented on my change at that time. Last night he walks into the restaurant, looks right at me and then keeps looking around. I had to flag him down. He said he didn't even recognize me...gotta like that. New body shape, haircut, glasses and clothes will do that I guess. He's got a pending divorce too, at 48 (and wow is his situation nuts...all kinds of mental illness going on with her, no As, just stuff that would make anyone crazy...several MCs have actually told them to separate, one even pulled him aside afterward and said he and his colleagues wouldn't protest if he called an ambulance out to their house and had her committed!). Anyway, it was interesting how the girls at the next table were very open to making conversation with us...and us with them.
That and the mental strength one gains...as much as I am the same person I was a few months ago, I now officially feel like an adult. At 34. Kinda wrong when I see it on paper, and I certainly took care of my general duties as a man over the years (income, keeping up the house, yard, trying to do right by my W, etc), but never felt as grown up as I do now. (guess I always figured if/when we had a child I'd be forced to man up anyway...) Hopefully this sets me up for being prepared to manage a VERY strong next relationship when the time comes.
Of course I'm roller coastering, and out of the blue tonight I might feel like a loser POS with no prospects...so take what I say with a grain of salt.
Tempting to hand my W a copy of the WS script and the BS script someday, show her how predictable she was, and how "easy" it was to navigate the s**tstorm with that information from you guys, even if I didn't want to believe it. Seems so counterintuitive, yet predictable.