My wife is on pain meds right now due to an operation. Shes struggling with nausea and eats crackers when she takes her meds.
Maybe you should take her a box of Zesta crackers and scope out the landscape.
Also concerned about her mental health and worreid she might do something to herself. I've seen a lot of that and its certainly not uncommon.
Sorry your feeling down, wish you well.
PS Don't hesitate to ask her how she's doing, I doubt she would tell anyone else if she were in trouble over all this. She may just need a little opening to really talk to you if you show her some kindness.
Sham - If you are worried about her, talk to her and ask her. Its not a sign of weakness or ill intent to ask someone you care for if they are doing ok. It doesnt mean you are asking to get back together or displaying anything other than concern for someone you care about. You have a history with her and you would both be robots to not be concerned about the others well being even if the marriage is over regardless of what the cause of the breakdown between you.
Not everything has to be a game and not everything is a conspiracy. Just my humble opinion
My wife is on pain meds right now due to an operation. Shes struggling with nausea and eats crackers when she takes her meds.
Maybe you should take her a box of Zesta crackers and scope out the landscape.
Also concerned about her mental health and worreid she might do something to herself. I've seen a lot of that and its certainly not uncommon.
Sorry your feeling down, wish you well.
PS Don't hesitate to ask her how she's doing, I doubt she would tell anyone else if she were in trouble over all this. She may just need a little opening to really talk to you if you show her some kindness.
Maybe I'm cold beeyotch here, but wasn't purpose of going dark and 180 to show Mrs. Sham what life without Mr. Sham is like? Well let her learn that. She hasn't confessed nor shown any remorse, she also hasn't made any decisions. She's had bad luck, been needy and been dumped. Sham admitted he's struggling because of her change in mood. So why send him for more? It clearly isn't his baby on the WAY off chance she's pregnant, so why stress and get involved. Life without Sham means figuring it out on her own. Let her do that. It's just another consequence of the affair an d she deserves to experience it. She HAS other care, her parents, friends. Sham doesn't have to be the one bringing crackers. Posted via Mobile Device
Sham - If you are worried about her, talk to her and ask her. Its not a sign of weakness or ill intent to ask someone you care for if they are doing ok. It doesnt mean you are asking to get back together or displaying anything other than concern for someone you care about. You have a history with her and you would both be robots to not be concerned about the others well being even if the marriage is over regardless of what the cause of the breakdown between you.
Not everything has to be a game and not everything is a conspiracy. Just my humble opinion
What about having her gf ask her? My recollection is that you are still on good terms with her. If so, give the gf the facts and tell her that pregnancy crossed your mind. Your STBXW may be more forth coming to her than to you.
I went through a long period of wistful feelings after my marriage fell apart. I struggled with the accepting that I could not change the past. A book that helped was:
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The best revenge is to live well and not be invisible, show them how well you are without them but maintain a sense of grace and integrity. Find that grace to recast your life and do it well.
Clearly anything is possible...but I would bet my left n*t that she wouldn't beat herself over the head, fall down the stairs, break a few ribs and pass out for hours in a pool of blood...on purpose, in order for me to feel sorry for her and raise her affair baby (and who would hurt themselves like that if they thought they may be pregnant?...she's not a rabbit boiler, as hurtful as she's been). She may have been drunk and slipped (instead of a seizure)...that's a far as I can take the realm of possibility.
OMW is very concerned about the possible pregnancy aspect (just talked with her), as that would pretty much be the last straw for her. I realllllly don't see it as a likely reality, a wild speculation at best.
I suppose I need to look into it, but let's just say my W wouldn't give me a straight answer on it unless she needed me real bad. I would have to be creative, and I haven't thought of one way to do that without being intruding and crazy guy w her or her gf. She's not pregnant guys. But I will do my best to verify.
As one of the leading advocates of "going dark" way back when, I'm now on the side of opening up the communication. Sham has clearly demonstrated that he can move on without her. However, uncertainty over R, her status and other issues that are out of Sam's control are contributing to Sham thinking about these things too much.
If work schedules allow, I would invite her out to lunch "in the interest of being civil." Of course, you should be prepared to ask her some tough questions in a straight-forward way that may give you closure if you never sit down to eat with her again. Foremost among these would be "Why did you do this to us?"
They say that the best cure for homesickness is going home. You recognize that "home" is not all that it's cracked up to be. That helps you move forward. More open communications now will help you recognize that the "home" of your pre-affair marriage no longer exists. The lingering thought of reviving the R will likely die of its own accord, and you'll have more psychological freedom moving forward.
Others will disagree with this idea. I think it's the one thing you need to do in order to move forward with your life.
Thanks for the comments everyone. Much better today. As I suspected, yesterday just sucked no matter what, and I just rolled with it. This morning I feel quite fresh and on top of things. Roller coaster, that's all.
I'm guessing she was just ill from the meds, injury and probably not eating.
Conjecture on anything more serious was inevitable, but the worst case scenario is unlikely to say the least. I'm just gonna dive into work today and have a better day. Thanks... Posted via Mobile Device
Maybe I'm cold beeyotch here, but wasn't purpose of going dark and 180 to show Mrs. Sham what life without Mr. Sham is like? Well let her learn that. She hasn't confessed nor shown any remorse, she also hasn't made any decisions. She's had bad luck, been needy and been dumped. Sham admitted he's struggling because of her change in mood. So why send him for more? It clearly isn't his baby on the WAY off chance she's pregnant, so why stress and get involved. Life without Sham means figuring it out on her own. Let her do that. It's just another consequence of the affair an d she deserves to experience it. She HAS other care, her parents, friends. Sham doesn't have to be the one bringing crackers. Posted via Mobile Device
The part of the 180 that works is to get the BS ready to move on and give him the tools to deal with the situation. Sham has done as well with this as any of the posters I have seen.
Having said that, there has been no serious communication between wife and Sham since he moved out. No real attempt at closure or anything else. I don't see how she could show remorse under the circumstances. No questions asked no answers given. IDK that may be the best thing.
Who's baby would depend on what state you live in. Responsibility for a baby while married doesn't always matter who the real father is. I don't think she's preg though.
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Re: Go time...and time to go. Sucks... 
