Yeah, the heartfelt warmth of that statement just fills me up with comfort.
That may be it folks, she said "the word". She said it in passing, and without elaboration. That may be all she's ever able to do, methinks. Man I hope she gets some counseling eventually.
Its interesting that you mentioned the gates-of-hell. You both have been living inside. Now you've set down another marker (the candid conversation) that will help you both out of it.
Sounds like she is doing a lot of self-reflection. If she wants to find God again, tell her she only need to turn around.
Its interesting that you mentioned the gates-of-hell. You both have been living inside. Now you've set down another marker (the candid conversation) that will help you both out of it.
Sounds like she is doing a lot of self-reflection. If she wants to find God again, tell her she only need to turn around.
Sham - In my "manning up" journey, I found that the most manly thing to do when dealing with my wife is to talk not only from logic, but to use my heart in doing so. No holding back, no worries about the repercussions of what I think and feel. It was probably one of the most prominent changes to my relationship with my wife.
I no longer had to make my communications about someone else. They could be about me and my boundaries as a person. Its hard to not respect a person who is real and genuine in their dealings with others.
Was this not real and genuine for you? If it was, it was the right thing to do!
You got the "sorry" word that quickly, sham... I'm impressed.
In my case, it was about 3 1/2 years after I moved out before my ex finally had *that* conversation with me. It felt sincere, but of course it was way too late. I'd waited years for her to say something along those lines, I had all the snappy, snarky replies worked out, but instead I remained silent, let her talk it out, then said only "thank you". And that door was closed for all time.
She said there has been no God in her life for a long time now, so I should smile at that.
I said "Wish you had been real with me when the chips were down. We wouldn't be here, we'd be in Cozumel 'working it out'. Not your fault for getting swept up in a bs fantasy, just how you handled it and what you chose to do. Wanted to fix this. Why didn't you?". She said "I couldn't fix anything, was too confused...sorry."
Pause...subject change, and we're out.
Probably wasn't worth saying, but it was said.
Hope I didn't open up the gates of hell by saying something so candid.
It's not weak to admit you loved her. Posted via Mobile Device
It's not weak to admit you loved her. Posted via Mobile Device
Aw, come on golfergirl...I was looking to you for the smackdown. Thanks though.
Strange, today just feels so casual to me. Like I can say whatever I want and it doesn't matter. Like I'm not afraid of anything she'd say in response, even it was "Are you crazy?! I hate you now! Ha ha ha, you actually think I care about your feelings?". I wouldn't care. At least not right now.
Have to see how the day plays out, I'll keep my mouth shut in the meantime, but feel like digging in the trowel a bit, so to speak, and see if I can crack her shell a bit more.
Or maybe I just have too much spare time today...all I have is the gym this afternoon and then the ballgame with some buddies tonight.
Not sure what the point would be, but like I said, right now I *really don't care* if there's a point. I've spent months doing everything for a reason, second and triple guessing myself in every action I make or word that I speak. Suddenly I just don't give a crap what it means if I say this or that, especially to her. Quite liberating. I fired a truth missile across her bow this morning and she didn't snap at me or ignore it. Or ask me "why the hell I would bring that up since we're getting divorced anyway", per usual, etc. Maybe her feelings are ripe for the picking?
Or maybe I'm temporarily insane and will think about this entirely differently tomorrow.
Not sure what the point would be, but like I said, right now I *really don't care* if there's a point. I've spent months doing everything for a reason, second and triple guessing myself in every action I make or word that I speak. Suddenly I just don't give a crap what it means if I say this or that, especially to her. Quite liberating.
Or maybe I'm temporarily insane and will think about this entirely differently tomorrow.
You most definitely are not insane, thats fantastic that you got to this point. I agree that getting to the point of not worrying about reactions does wonders for the mind and soul. Nicely done!
WOW she said Sorry, WOW! that was quicker than I thought. So I'm curious what does that mean for you? You got your answer? Your still moving foward? Or you stil want to pick her brain some more? As for you feeling like you don't give a crap, I could be wrong but this feeling will happen off and on, and the more you start to move on (In your own way of course) The more you will start to feel indifferent in dealing with her, not really callous just seperating yourself. Your doing just fine these things are not easy I just can't believe she said sorry without her adding her two scents to it.
80Likes
Re: Go time...and time to go. Sucks... 
