Originally Posted by shamwow

first of all - my thought is that anyone faced with an actual dealbreaker situation will always doubt their resolve to truly stick to it once put into action. Whether or not they show anyone that doubt, that's another story. I have been harder than i've ever been, and yes, i guess i've done some backsliding...not like i didn't know it/fear it though, i've posted about it for weeks. Rationalizing, hoping for the best. I was wrong.

I am shamed.

You were all right.

My buddy was on the way over for the game (the other had to cancel). He texted to say he was on his way over (this if my w's gf's h). Sweet. Then my w texts me and says "cheeseburgers and a movie? Or are you busy." i said, "busy, ____'s coming over to watch the game. If you're up after 10, gimme a call i should be up. [then, kidding, i said] or good luck, you can try to convince _____ to go to your place. Lol" she said she'd be sleeping.

Then she calls gf's h and convinces him to come over to the house. Seriously. He figures it was actually my idea, and apparently she thought i was serious. She texts me "_____'s coming here now, come on over!". I say "no he's not." she says "is okay? Yeah he really is. No good?". I said "does it matter?". Then she says "gf is coming over too." our "traditional" couples night group. Fml.

Everything in my gut said to stay home. Everything.

Line up the paddles.

I went. Sham 1.0 back in full effect. Did exactly what i knew i shouldn't. Sorry all, it was a horrible night. (nyl, i still want to punch you in the proverbial neck for knocking the wind out of me earlier tonight, but you were right.)

horrible.

W was on the phone for 45 mins for work when we got there. I hung out with the couple. We watched the game. Finally w gets off the phone.

She's drunk. Bunch of small talk. Then w starts talking **** about me not bringing cheeseburgers. "joking", of course. I said whatever, i had food at my place for me and ______. More casual bs small talk for a while. I did not want to be there, everything in me saying get the f*** out. I realize i'm probably not hiding my emotions very well anymore. W casually comments to gf on a few things she loved in the house, a painting that i took (that i paid $1000 for), the tv and the speakers (which she claimed she didn't give a s*** about before), and the dogs (which she told me to take). I said "however you want to remember it." she reiterates that she's "kidding". Then she starts talking to "me" (though gf and h are 5 feet away) about taxes and splitting up assets, and dropping how much she'll be losing because of the house. I ignore it. She said we'll figure it all out on thursday and friday. I said "no we won't, you'll be crazy with work those days, i'll take care of it. Forget it, off your plate." she says "no, i'll have plenty of time."

all the time her phone is lighting up with texts. I knew it was hs douche (i didn't really, but i had a feeling)...not that i should care, but i felt the need to make it less fun for her, as she was probably telling him how she wanted to be bent over right now, but the house was full of boring people (whom she forcefully invited).

Bling, bling, bling, texts. I hate that f***ing sound. I finally said "say hi for me". She said, "what, to ____?" (hs douche). I said "yeah, how's his divorce going?". "fine, it's done, but now she's coming back for more money after the fact." i said "well he's a smart guy, i'm sure he'll figure it out. Give him my lawyer's number."

then i realize we're that couple, bickering in front of guests. The whole time she keeps saying "totally kidding" but i know she's actually doing her best to make me look like an a-hole. She left the room and i said to the couple "i shouldn't be here. Gonna get going now." w comes back in room. They got up to leave too. I hugged each of them and said great to see them, take care. I said not one word to w as i walked out, nor she to me.

After i left i texted gf's h and said "my gut told me to stay home. My gut hasn't failed me in months. My fault. Great to see you guys though..."

dude calls me immediately and said yeah, that seemed a little off. I said, whatever, i allowed her to hijack my evening and you two didn't deserve to have to see that. Let's just say *never again* on that front, okay?" we talked for a while. He totally agreed and felt horrible that he went over there instead of calling me first. I said "totally my bad, i was joking with her and she took it seriously and took over the evening. No worries."

got home, petted the pups, had a brief cry (first time in a week), then texted stbxw "hey - that was really fun! We should do that more often."

she came back with "liar. You should've stayed. You're missing golden girls."


let me categorically state...wait for it...wait for it...f**k this.

I was wrong. Again. Again. I knew better, and i let myself lose this round. She is stronger and healthier now, and as i had predicted, she very well may revert right back to the horrible person i lived with for the few months before i left. It appears she did.

I will text her tomorrow and tell her "i'll file the taxes on thursday and email you signature pages. Have a nice trip."

the b***h is back.

I...am...a...jackass...yet...again...


*&^#$%*&%^t@#$*&(^#%$*(&!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just try to talk me out of xanax and vodka martinis tonight.

P.s. W's gained 15 pounds in the last month. Good.

Originally Posted by Dadof3

You are doing great, Sham. I think you are right about some of us wanting your wife to suffer, but I think most, if not all, want you to succeed on your own terms.

Keep your chin up. Although we seem to be hard on you, you still have our respect.

Originally Posted by chapparal

I think the two of you could work it out simply because I think you are two good people at heart if thats what you decide to do.

Originally Posted by Almostrecovered

I would have no problems with sham considering and attempting R if Mrs. Sham would actually show some real remorse. But unfortunately the closest she has come was a quick sorry in a text. Doesn't cut it imo. True R requires some major heavy lifting from the wayward and I don't see any signs that Mrs. Sham is willing to do that in the slightest and if she does want R she wants it on her terms and likely wants sham to "forgive and forget".

Basically for R to work she has to be begging and willing to do anything and everything. At the very least she would have to ask for it for any progress to be made. Instead she invites him over to be buddies, texts other men with pics of her tw@t, whines about how hard this is going to be financially on her, still tries to paint sham as the bad guy, and all the while makes feeble attempts of keeping him close to be the guy she can dump on still.