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Old 09-14-2011, 08:14 PM   #106 (permalink)
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Default Re: Go time...and time to go. Sucks...

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Agreed...yeah, really feel like I've "won" in life at the moment.
Yea, the "you win, bravo" thing is just plain strange. I guess I wouldn't respond, but a part of me would like to reply something along the lines of "listen, I have to pay my own rent now. If you choose not to pay the mortgage that's your choice but it will effect your credit rating, thus your ability to do things going forward."

Then again, why bother? It's not your problem if she wants to make more bad choices. You do need to get off of the utilities and make sure that anything that has your name on it does indeed get paid on time. BTW, all I've ever had to do to get off the utilities is to call and say I moved out as of X date, and please send me a final bill to my new address. They usually ask if I know who the new owner is and I give them the new name. That call ends my responsibility right then and there.

She has a pretty crazy world view right now. It's as if all she was doing was "finding herself" (and who can really fault her for that) and you had to go and start screwing her over just when she was making improvements in her life. It's pure fantasy, but I'm pretty sure that's how she's viewing it.
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Old 09-14-2011, 08:30 PM   #107 (permalink)
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Default Re: Go time...and time to go. Sucks...

"you win, bravo"

Things sure haven't worked out for her. A lot of speculation but that's all it is speculation.

Is wife and D!rty B@$tard still emailing?
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Old 09-14-2011, 09:17 PM   #108 (permalink)
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Default Re: Go time...and time to go. Sucks...

I actually can say that they aren't emailing, at least not with our accounts. I stopped checking about a week ago, and then split my website and email off to my own account, sent her the user and pass for her account to make any changes she wants to (ummm, password). Checked last night (curiosity, sorry) and the pw is still the same. No email w D-Bag McHomewrecker. But that's how I knew she was buying a used car...also know she's telling people she's totally financially f***ed at the moment. imagine she's gotta get around to changing it soon. Maybe she hasn't just so she can show no contact w him for OM's sake? Only reason I say that is OMW asked me if they were still in contact, all I could say is they were as of a week ago (email, text and phone), but don't know since then. OM has been swearing that he hasn't, and I think OMW is contemplating R, so it matters to her. She's on the fence, but since he has confessed and shown remorse, she has more doors open to her. Wish her luck. He's a POS.
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Old 09-14-2011, 09:18 PM   #109 (permalink)
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Default Re: Go time...and time to go. Sucks...

Sham, i must say that you are handling this admirably. You are the model of calm, in-control temperance, and she is trying to hit you with snarky comments and childish blame-shifting. This will make you the better man during the D.
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Old 09-14-2011, 09:23 PM   #110 (permalink)
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Sham, i must say that you are handling this admirably. You are the model of calm, in-control temperance, and she is trying to hit you with snarky comments and childish blame-shifting. This will make you the better man during the D.
Thanks, doesn't always feel like that. But as far as my interactions with my W, yeah, I feel like I'm in the driver's seat. And I have to feel good about that.

Has to confuse the hell out of her, huh?

"Who is this guy that has my fantasy world upside down all of a sudden?? I thought I had that situation under control..."
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Last edited by Shamwow; 09-14-2011 at 09:28 PM.
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Old 09-14-2011, 09:50 PM   #111 (permalink)
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Default Re: Go time...and time to go. Sucks...

"He's a POS."

LOL, you're being way to kind! Cut it out.
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Old 09-14-2011, 11:00 PM   #112 (permalink)
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Default Re: Go time...and time to go. Sucks...

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Originally Posted by Shamwow View Post
Agreed...yeah, really feel like I've "won" in life at the moment.
You know Sham, for what it's worth, I don't see any reason to not respond back to that. Nothing contrite or biting, just the plain fact.

Lost my best friend, my marriage & my house, as well as so much more - past, present and future. The definition of a win is "To achieve success in an effort or venture" If that's what you feel I have achieved, I am making the right choice in my life now.


As always, just my $.02

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Old 09-14-2011, 11:08 PM   #113 (permalink)
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You know Sham, for what it's worth, I don't see any reason to not respond back to that. Nothing contrite or biting, just the plain fact.

Lost my best friend, my marriage & my house, as well as so much more - past, present and future. The definition of a win is "To achieve success in an effort or venture" If that's what you feel I have achieved, I am making the right choice in my life now.


As always, just my $.02

Q~



She hasn't seen anything human out of you since you moved out, just texts or email.
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Old 09-14-2011, 11:15 PM   #114 (permalink)
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Eh, I'll give it some time before I give her anything real...sure want to, but she clearly isn't ready to receive it.
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Old 09-14-2011, 11:19 PM   #115 (permalink)
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Nope dont give her nothing real no more.
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Old 09-15-2011, 01:39 AM   #116 (permalink)
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You win huh? Like all this was some part of a Machiavellian plan to ditch the house?
Indeed, my plan all along...mooohahahaha...

Sigh.
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Old 09-15-2011, 02:34 AM   #117 (permalink)
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Indeed, my plan all along...mooohahahaha...

Sigh.
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Old 09-15-2011, 05:37 AM   #118 (permalink)
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Default Re: Go time...and time to go. Sucks...

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actually, you need to tell her you are cancelling any utilities in your name @ her place before the due date. Make her get them in her name and deal with the hassle. As your lawyer says, you pay once... It is tough but you need to cut the strings there asap. Also, under no circumstance are you to put $ in any joint acct. Get your share of bills sent to you and pay them. It is easy for her to withdraw the cash and blow it. She no linger cares how it may effect your credit or finances with late fees and overdrawns.

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Old 09-15-2011, 05:40 AM   #119 (permalink)
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You are still a rock Shamwow, great job!! I know how difficult this all is and you are holding up real well. Keep up the good work!

I had made the comment a while back that the STBXW's "fantasy train" had pulled into the station and now she has gotten off and has to face all this reality. In my opinion, the last few contacts you have had with here and her comments seem to me to be a little sampling of the pain she is now going through. She is seeing the light of how great a guy you are and while she is still working hard to put up a tough exterior she is now in my opinion in remorse as to her actions. She is in a huge mess with her finances, emotions, and now realizes what a tangled web she has woven.

Be careful Shamwow! I still will stick with my previous prediction that she will approach you at some time soon about letting you know about the remorse and pain she now feels. Then you will be at a cross road to assess the big picture; if she has changed "back" to the wife you knew and loved or if it is a facade. I maybe 100% wrong here, only time will tell. Follow your heart and your keen senses Sham, you are a smart chap and will make the right choices!
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Old 09-15-2011, 10:09 AM   #120 (permalink)
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Default Re: Go time...and time to go. Sucks...

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You are still a rock Shamwow, great job!! I know how difficult this all is and you are holding up real well. Keep up the good work!

I had made the comment a while back that the STBXW's "fantasy train" had pulled into the station and now she has gotten off and has to face all this reality. In my opinion, the last few contacts you have had with here and her comments seem to me to be a little sampling of the pain she is now going through. She is seeing the light of how great a guy you are and while she is still working hard to put up a tough exterior she is now in my opinion in remorse as to her actions. She is in a huge mess with her finances, emotions, and now realizes what a tangled web she has woven.

Be careful Shamwow! I still will stick with my previous prediction that she will approach you at some time soon about letting you know about the remorse and pain she now feels. Then you will be at a cross road to assess the big picture; if she has changed "back" to the wife you knew and loved or if it is a facade. I maybe 100% wrong here, only time will tell. Follow your heart and your keen senses Sham, you are a smart chap and will make the right choices!
This is what I have been thinking BUT.......... I woke up this morning with the opposite opinion. Now I'm wondering if Sham's complete indifference to her is simply reinforcing her decision to have an affair. I'm not sure indifference is the correct way to put it. Maybe passive aggressive?


Anyone had this happen? I'm guessing that I would be thinking how quickly he turned on me and how much he hates me now. Like I never knew him in the first place.

Could she have thought she could go have her little fling with a married man, deceive Sham, and come back and play like nothing happened? From what little we've seen, I have never thought they intended a long term relationship. I don't recall anything in her emails suggesting them having a future together.

This speculatin' is given me a headache. LOL


Last edited by Chaparral; 09-15-2011 at 10:37 AM.
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