When will i know to stop trying be the respectful husband?

JAYBLACK973 · 09-29-2011, 03:39 PM

My Wife stopped taking my phone calls again. We are right back to the attitude and feelings from the beginning of the separation. Up until last week we had made progress, well at least i thought so. I had to let her know that i felt like she was using me to pay her bills and fix her car while she wasn't living at home. She said that she shouldn't have let her guard down with me. What does that mean? Well today i tried to let her know that she has mail her for her after i stopped it from being delivered to our home. She wont answer the phone or answer my text. What now?

Lostouthere · 09-29-2011, 03:40 PM

Bro if you havent read the 180 read it and apply it starting now.

nice777guy · 09-29-2011, 04:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JAYBLACK973

My Wife stopped taking my phone calls again. We are right back to the attitude and feelings from the beginning of the separation. Up until last week we had made progress, well at least i thought so. I had to let her know that i felt like she was using me to pay her bills and fix her car while she wasn't living at home. She said that she shouldn't have let her guard down with me. What does that mean? Well today i tried to let her know that she has mail her for her after i stopped it from being delivered to our home. She wont answer the phone or answer my text. What now?

When I was in your shoes - people here would point out that my wife would allow us to make "just enough" progress to keep me hanging on.

The comment about letting her guard down might as well be baby talk - its meaningless. Its meant to keep you off guard.

Read about the 180 - and take a look at some of the things about Niceguys and Manning Up that are posted in the Men's Clubhouse. There's some nonsense in there - but also a lot of good stuff too. Stuff to consider.

But it certainly sounds like she got the help she wanted from you, and is done with you until you are needed again.

Sucks - but it happens. Sorry...

JAYBLACK973 · 09-29-2011, 05:13 PM

We did this months ago. I got so tired of her not answering my calls or text. I just did what me the MC said to do is leave her alone for a month or 2. i didn't bother her and then i began to hear from her almost twice or more a day. As i am typing this she just texted back, i just read it and moved on. This is so freaking frustrating and i have shared my anger and frustration with her about our situation aka marriage. Way too much BS to deal with her.

aug · 09-29-2011, 06:02 PM

She's doing the 180 on you.

And you are letting her get to you.

JAYBLACK973 · 09-29-2011, 06:33 PM

Maybe she is. I know that i'm going back to no contact for a couple of weeks. I go on vacation in a couple of weeks so i need to stay away from negative stuff and focus on the positive and having a bit of fun..

Lostouthere · 09-29-2011, 06:51 PM

Stay NC