So I spent 3 days visiting my hubby. The first day we didn't really try to talk since I was exhausted from work and travel (26 hrs with no sleep!), so we just hung out and then I slept for a while. We hung out with some friends, I met some of his new ones, etc. That went fine.
2nd day we talked a little bit but he had some things to take care of and I needed some solo time in "my" city (it's where I really feel home), so we kind of talked in the evening after hanging out with our good friend and his girlfriend for a little while.
3rd day we spent the day together and we had 2 or 3 instances where we got really snappy with each other. Once the subway gate banged into my heel really hard (he was right behind me), and I said "easy killer!"; I didn't yell but sounded annoyed because it hurt. Instead of saying "honey, that wasn't me who pushed it that hard", he yelled "IT WASN'T F*&^%ING ME!!!!". I put on my headphones for a bit and walked ahead because I didn't want a full-blown fight. Usually that would really anger him but he let it go, which is definitely progress for him.
We talked for quite a while that night, and it was really positive. We actually discussed what divorce would mean, practically and emotionally. It was much calmer than I expected.
I'm as confused as ever, but somewhat relieved that the trip went pretty well overall. He is a VERY high-energy person and very social, I am not. It gets to the point that his energy level drains me; some of our friends (those that will say so) find him to be a bit too much sometimes.
If he hadn't moved up there I suppose I'd be much more willing to try and work it out, but I'm reluctant to move up there where I don't really have the support system that I do here.
There's no way he'd move back here. Supposedly he's opening a bar/club for some super-wealthy businessman and his show (well, with his business partners) is being picked up for sure, and the money is just gonna start showering down in a couple of months. The thing is that it's not about the money (oh, but he did get laid off ALREADY from his main job, so his income has dropped dramatically, and he's not going to get a new one since he's opening the bar, so paying the bills will be mostly up to me AGAIN); I don't care about rich. I mean, it'd be nice sure, but even if that were the case I don't know how much of a difference it would make.
Don't know where to go from here.
Survived D-Day, Sort of...
