Re: Separated wife only wants to be friends
The reason she can talk and exchange pleasantries about work is that she has LONG AGO detached from you emotionally. What she is demonstrating toward you is called indifference.
I know how hard it is. Believe me, I do. But, you DO need to turn it off and block her out of your life. If not, you will just cause yourself extended time on the pain you're experiencing. It's hard. It's not impossible. Have you checked with your doctor about a zoloft prescription for anxiety? Are you having panic attacks or feeling just on edge constantly about all this? I did. The zoloft helped. I used a generic version.
You will eventually come to realize that she wasn't your life, and you weren't hers. If she was your life, you'd have not been on porn sites and would have been in the bedroom with your wife, tearing up the sheets. And if you were her life, she wouldn't be divorcing you. You are seeing things from the perspective of an understandably hurt, emotional, dysfunctional state of mind. What you're feeling now is causing you to think in a certain way. Once you are able to block her out of your life and detach, you will see things differently and be able to move on.
You will get through this. You'll just get through it faster if you follow some of the advice people with experience in this are giving you. There is NOTHING you can do about her feelings. NOTHING. ANYTHING you attempt to get her to reconcile will drive her further away (if that's even possible, now). If you would ignore her, move on, and date other women; you'd have a better chance of reconciling than hoovering around her and showing her how weak and dependent you are.
She likely will NOT ever return to the marriage-- it rarely, if ever happens, even when the marriage was stronger at one time than yours. You've got to accept this--- she's not coming back. Once you accept, you'll heal. I've said it before. Maybe it will sink in eventually.