H is beginning to wake up!
6 months ago, I kicked my H out because he was having a second affair. He was texting a bar tramp for a year and became obsessed. He was angry all the time. In March we traveled to Italy for our 50th birthdays and he was miserable, angry, sulky and abusive. The trip became so bad, I paid a fortune for us to fly home early.
I called the tramp and also told him to stop texting and finally called Verizon and had both numbers blocked from account. H became enraged and I threw him out.
In June, the entire family was booked on an Alaskan cruise thanks to MIL gift. Two days before the trip, MIL found out that my H was going around town with this tramp and was so disgusted she "univited" her own son to vacation with us.
In July, H came out of the fog for a few minutes and called to apologize for f*cking everything up. Said he left the tramp and wanted his family back. That lasted a few days but then the obsession took over again.
I began to let him go and followed the 180 plan. Aug, Sept came and went without any progress.
In Oct, I started calling and texting him for bank statements, etc. in order to list our home and investment home in short sale. I also called and nagged him for money to pay my bills.
H business as General Contracting has lost most all money due to economy and real estate market.
H claimed he had no money or was always broke. Thank God I have always worked and can at least pay most bills except the mortgage.
H finally sent me bank statements from his business that the bank was requesting. I went ballistic when seeing that H was paying tramps power, water and cable bills for 4 months. I called and screamed and yelled and told him his father would be rolling over in his grave if he knew what this man was doing to his family.
Called my lawyer and filed for divorce. Sent H an email explaining what hell he put me through and that I am giving him what he has wanted for 4 years now. The marriage to end.
Today his uncle died suddenly and I called him to see how he was doing. We talked a little and were very nice to one another. Just received an email from him saying he is sorry and that I was the very best thing that ever happened to him and that he would have to live with his mistakes for the rest of his life. He said he was avoiding me because he could not believe that this marriage was ending. He thought it was a bad idea and really sinking in now that he is about to lose me.
Still doing 180 and will continue to move forward.