Re: Wife left my girls and me for a coworker
I've never been through what you are going through, Tomas, but I have been through heart breaks before after LTRs. I learned to compartmentalize my thoughts. I would keep my mind occupied on other things as much as possible, and when I felt the pain I would get extremely busy with something that would take my mind elsewhere. I also learned, with practice, to set aside a time each day (sometimes 5 minutes, sometimes up to 20 minutes) where I would actually allow myself to wallow in self-pity, and cry, pray, or even take out some frustration on an inanimate object (LOL!). That's how I learned to control my emotions better, because I used to be (and still am to some degree) a volatile and emotional person.
It will take a while, believe me, but you WILL get through this. Don't let the good memories of her outweigh the bad in your thoughts. Changing your environment is a good idea, and will likely speed up the process, but you will need to compartmentalize your thoughts and emotions. Anytime a "good" memory about her invades your thoughts, replace it with a "bad" memory. It's hard to do but can be done. It worked for me.
You idealized what your marriage would be, but you just married the WRONG person. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make the pain go away for you quicker. It's going to take some time for sure, but it will get easier, and eventually will make you think "Why did I put up with this woman and her crap for that long? I should've ended that marriage much earlier."
Getting out of the house and meeting other people is always a good idea. I don't think you are ready for dating yet. Having a friend with benefits can be helpful for sure, only IF you can control your emotions enough to not fall in love. Falling in love with somebody right now would DEFINITELY not be the thing to do because it would be unfair to you and her in the long term.
Last edited by Luvher4life; 06-08-2016 at 01:06 PM.