Re: He says he wants divorce, I don't think he does and I sure don't
So,what's the plan?
You love him, he loves you..and you're separated. Now what?
Either you both get into MC or you file. I'm not exactly sure what the dilemma here is. What you're doing is treading water. At some point, you have to swim to shore..on either side.
As an aside, you say you're still in love with him, yet list incidents and behaviors that any sane person wouldn't love..actually, probably wouldn't even tolerate. Could it be that you cannot admit to yourself that whatever it once was that you might have actually loved is no gone, perhaps forever?
Consider therapy for yourself too.