, I know you're right. I know everyone here is right. I now know there are worse things than death. He's made me feel guilty for the things he did. I only wish my friends would have said something sooner. As far as I know, a penis picture was only sent to one friend, and the rest told him to leave them alone. Right after our daughter was born I had discovered he'd been on dating websites too. I wish I could have seen all this for what it was back then and then I could have saved myself some massive heartache, but I guess that's how we learn.
My biggest fear is he'll find a way to get full custody of our daughter. I can't afford a lawyer so I don't know how to go about this. I'm also a resident of one state living in another. Will someone help me for little or no money? Who do I go to?
"My biggest fear".
Can you see that fear is driving everything you think of, and everything that you do and don't do?
How do you know that someone (a lawyer or anybody else for that matter) won't help you? Go explain your situation to a lawyer(s), and I have NO doubt that someone will help you.
When we don't know the answers to things in our future our mind runs wild, and trust me the things we think of are 99% negative thoughts.
Where you're at right now is like an alcoholic, and the road to a better a life (recovery) is looking in the mirror and acknowledging the fact that "yes, I am an alcoholic". In your situation it's acknowledging the reality of your situation/marriage, and that your husband isn't a good person and given his DNA (who and what he TRULY is) just isn't someone you need to be married to.
You tip toe around truly acknowledging this. Once you TRULY believe it in your mind and soul (not your heart as it can be lead astray) then you've taken the first step.
Then it's about taking ACTION and doing something about it.
Take the first step (baby step).
You said you're 30 yrs old.
You have your whole life out in front of you, and the decisions you make today will determine your future.
Let's look at what you do have.
Your daughter is with you.
I can only imagine how much you love her, and she loves you.
You are both healthy!!!! Don't take this for granted!!!!!
Your with your mom, and I'm sure she loves you and your daughter as well.
You and your daughter have a roof over your head, you're not wondering where your next meal is coming from (as millions of people around the world do), you have clothes on your back, you have a job (even if it's not the ideal job long term), and you have transportation (correct?). You have a cousin who seems to be willing to be there for you. All of this are HUGE BLESSINGS, and it's something to build on.
You have all these thoughts running around in your head.
Put a step by step plan down on paper, and then take a deep breath, and then put all of your focus on making step 1 happen. Once you've done that focus on step 2, and then move to the next step. By putting the plan down on paper you're creating a map on how to get from point A to point B (the life that you want to create for you and your daughter).
Also remember, despite your daughter being only 7 yrs old, she's watching everything you're doing, and she's not stupid. Show her that things happen in life that we never expected, but even though we get knocked down, we pick ourselves up, and we press forward. This is the difference between a coward and courage.
So let's stop with all the fearful thoughts.
You don't need anyone to motivate you.
Get online and make an appointment with an attorney so you know what your legal options are moving forward.
Then put the wheels in motion to go back to Nevada to get all of your possessions.
This is a good start.
You CAN do this and more importantly you WILL DO THIS!!!