never posted but I was following your thread from the beginning. Missed the last few posts confirming the affair. Too bad, huh? And it happens to be the village sleazeball. I wonder how much your wife was the reason for his divorce too. Looks like it had been going for sometime. You might want to talk to his wife to find out how long this had been going on. Atleast she could have told you the truth when you found out the first time...
I think your wife is in a very bad place at the moment. I knew from the beginning of your posts that she left you for this man. It was so abrupt and quick for her to decide to move out. It's hard to believe that one would abondon her children for a man...
Try to keep details of your divorce and your squabbles with your wife from all three children, they don't need to hear any of it. Your daughters have already formed their own opinion on her based on what their mother has done to you, leave it at that. Even though they are older, it is still stressful for them to digest. My son who is almost 22 knows very little concerning my separation from his dad. I say very little out of respect for his father and trying to encourage a relationship for them. It's difficult not to chime in when they say negative things about their own parent.
I think your wife is in a very bad place at the moment. I knew from the beginning of your posts that she left you for this man. It was so abrupt and quick for her to decide to move out. It's hard to believe that one would abondon her children for a man...
Try to keep details of your divorce and your squabbles with your wife from all three children, they don't need to hear any of it. Your daughters have already formed their own opinion on her based on what their mother has done to you, leave it at that. Even though they are older, it is still stressful for them to digest. My son who is almost 22 knows very little concerning my separation from his dad. I say very little out of respect for his father and trying to encourage a relationship for them. It's difficult not to chime in when they say negative things about their own parent.
all the best
My adult kids know as much or as little as they want. I don't want them wondering or questioning rationality and I want them to learn from my mistakes. I am probably in the minority here but I also rely on them. They are my only family in the area and I need their help w/ the house/kids etc esp since he has just walked away from responsibilities.
People at work are asking me if I've won the lotto because I appear so happy.
In a way, I have won the lotto as I feel as though I have turned a corner. Saturday night was a blast, nothing too intense with the woman I was with but the best laugh I have had in a long time. I felt alive again - something that has been missing for a long time.
I returned home as I promised myself I would and I'm glad I did. My son kept asking his granny, "when is dad coming home"
Regarding my daughters. They are old enough to understand what has happened here. I am faced with a choice of trying to convince them that mum's behaviour is ok or allowing them to see it for what it is. I have chosen to let them see it for what it is. I cannot let them believe that this type of behaviour is normal or acceptable. I think I am choosing the lesser of the two evils. As time passes, I will try to help my daughters patch up their relationship with their mum. This will be on the basis that they understand, that mum's behaviour, is a result of poor parenting and not that this behaviour is not normal.
My son, on the other hand has been protected 100% from the gory details.
My W, will regret the day she walked out on her family. Unfortunately for her, we will all have moved on.
My hats off to you sir. You are an axample we men should all follow.
Thank you. Your comment is really appreciated.
It's been a difficult journey, of that there is no doubt but it is only that, a journey. The most important point is, we have within us the ability to determine the destination. We must grasp this. Yes, it is hard and at times, excruciating and there can be many obstacles in the way but we can do it.
My eldest D informed me tonight that her mum and her mum's new boyfriend where in the local pub on Thursday night. Now, how did I know that would happen. I'll tell you why, she is a thoughtless, self centered, ***** of a woman. She knows my daughter spends time there.
She approached my D, who had caught sight of her as she entered the pub. She spoke to my D as though nothing had happened. My D told her that she had nothing to say to her. My W then proceeded to blame me for turning my D against her. My D put her in her place, explaining it was her behaviour, that has caused the situation.
Will this woman ever know when to stop pressing the self destruct button. Unfortunately, I doubt it.
While your W is drinking herself into a stupor, you should be down at the gym turning yourself into Mr. Sexy Macho Stud man. Get in shape and after the D date, date, date. Posted via Mobile Device
While your W is drinking herself into a stupor, you should be down at the gym turning yourself into Mr. Sexy Macho Stud man. Get in shape and after the D date, date, date. Posted via Mobile Device
LOL, I actually laughed out loud there. I pass a gym on my way to work every morning, does that count? :-)
I could maybe get to the Sean Connery type of Macho man but my Brad Pitt days are over.
Having said that, I spent fifteen years of my life on a chainsaw, felling trees and I developed, what I consider, slow grown muscle, which is different to the bloated body builders. I can put men half my age to shame and it wouldn't take much to get back in shape.
Hmmm, maybe I should stop off at the gym on the way home
It seems that the roles of parent and child have been reversed. Your daughter is now the mature adult and her mother is now the arrested development, temper tantrum throwing brat.
Get a makeover bro. Treat yourself to some new clothes and a nice haircut. Take care of yourself for once. Posted via Mobile Device
I'm doing exactly that, although haircuts don't make much difference to me these days ;-) I am taking better care of myself than I have in years. Shaved my mustache off, now clean shaven, take care of what hair I have, clean well trimmed nails, polished shoes, crisp creases on my shirts etc, etc. The mustache removal has taken years off me. I'm just a sex God now
Seriously, I am feeling good about myself but I think that is in part to do with looking after myself better, which has got the attention of the ladies but also the fact that I have maintained my dignity throughout this sordid mess. My W's credibility has crashed, whilst mine has rocketed.
What puzzles me though, is that people still think it is strange for men to want to look after their kids in these situations. I have a number of mates, who would walk over hot coals for their kids. I often get a bemused looks from people when they realise I have the kids. Maybe, they think it strange that a mum could leave her kids?
It seems that the roles of parent and child have been reversed. Your daughter is now the mature adult and her mother is now the arrested development, temper tantrum throwing brat.
To be honest, I noticed the difference quite early. In fact, had it not been for my D's, I might have thought I was going mad. Fortunately, they were well up to speed from the beginning and found their mum's behaviour as bizarre as I did.
I am so pleased that my W's behaviour throughout our marriage appears to have had no effect on my D's. Thank God for small mercies.
339Likes
Re: My Wife is separating from me - Loooong Post 
