Can't believe two weeks have passed already.
Quick update. As you know, my ex turned to me after she went through a bad patch, what that bad patch was, I don't know. I suspected that she was not with bf any more. I was mature and actually quite kind about the situation but let her know in no uncertain terms, that there was no way back. I think she accepted this. I think she is now back with bf.
During my break from TAM, I have spent a lot of time looking at myself (no - not in the mirror) and questioning where I am and where I want to be. I want to take this time on my own and use it positively. If I end up being on my own for the rest of my life, then I know that I will be ok, if on the other hand I meet a lovely lady, then she will get a better "me".
One of my issues was smoking. I have smoked for as long as I can remember. I have made many attempts to cut down and whilst successful for periods of time, I never managed to keep it up. Every time I tried to do it, life would conspire against me and I would pick up the old cigarettes again.
What an absolute load of sh!t. These are the typical excuses that smokers come out with. They are excuses, nothing more, nothing less. I realise that now.
I have looked at what I have survived recently and compared that to giving up smoking. There is no comparison. I can't remember being in tears, on my knees and feeling as though my life was over because I couldn't have a cigarette.
I ran out of cigarettes at the beginning of the week and I haven't smoked one since. More importantly, I won't smoke another one, ever again.
Approximately 7 months ago, my life was falling apart. Today, I only see positives, opportunities and light at the end of the tunnel.
ps - kids are thrilled by me stopping smoking
Life is good