Sorry, I may have accidentally given the wrong impression, nothing has happened to me, just someone I know.
I had a gentle reminder yesterday, that we are not alone with our suffering. Every day, I have lunch with two lovely ladies. This has been the case for many months. In fact, this started about seven months ago, when I went through my separation.
Both of these ladies have helped me in their own way, whether it be humour or the occasional reality check.
Yesterday, was a day for a reality check. Both of these ladies have one thing in common, their mother's are receiving treatment for breast cancer. One of these ladies is also going through a difficult time with her husband, who is, at this time, going through a difficult time himself. From what has been said, it sounds like he has suffered some form of nervous breakdown.
Yesterday, this lady came to my office. She started to tell me about her mother. Her Mother was in worse shape than she thought. What didn't help though, was that her husband couldn't support her. When they got home after visiting her mother, she asked him for a cuddle and he point blank refused. She asked why, he said, he just didn't want to. This absolutely stunned her. At a time when she most needed support from her husband, he wasn't there for her. She was furious with him.
Although she had promised herself that when she spoke about it she wouldn't break down, she did. It was horrible to see, I could have cried for her. I went to her and I gave her a very long cuddle. We sat for half an hour, chatting about her situation.
Two things became clear. Her parents had not kept her fully up to date with her mother's situation and her husband couldn't help because he wasn't strong enough to deal with the situation.
I was conscious that I had given her, what her husband couldn't - a cuddle. I wasn't wrong in doing that and I'm sure she would know that. I explained to her that I thought her husband was in a bad place just now and was struggling to help himself, never-mind anyone else. I said, it's not that he doesn't want to help you, it's that he just can't.
I gave her my mobile and email and told her to feel free to offload on me any time things got on top of her. She text last night saying that her husband was able to talk about it and admitted that he was just struggling with the whole situation.
Hopefully they can work on things together and that he will get himself into a position where he will be able to support her. They both have some very difficult days ahead.
For those who have followed my thread, I don't need to say this but for those who haven't, I have very strong beliefs regarding marriage. Although this lady is an attractive woman, she is no more than a friend to me who can lean on me when needed. I assure you, it will remain that way.
ps, I played golf with some work colleagues today. The first time I have played in fifteen years. I gave up, all those years ago, due to frustration. I hadn't swung a club since then. You know what? I actually played better today, than I did way back then and I thoroughly enjoyed the day. I think I will be taking up golf again. My social life is getting so busy