When women walk away from their long term marriages to be with another man, they pretty much checked out the marriage. You have the choice of trying to fight for reconciliation or you can file for divorce and move on with your life. The choice is yours of course but realize that the odds are against any recovery once this happens. So choose wisely.
All day she has been denying it, although she didn't deny it last night, she just asked what was going on and who was saying that.
I suppose they all say that. If this turns out to be true, which I believe it is, then I am finished with her. if she can't prove otherwise, then as far as I am concerned it is true. I don't know how she can prove otherwise but that's not my problem.
Her biggest issue though, is that her D's don't believe her either and they have told her that unless she tells the truth, then she will not see them again.
She txt me asking how she can fix it with D's. I told her that, that was her problem not mine. I told her that she had broken the trust of her whole family and whilst that may be ok to do that with me, it's not ok with her kids. You got yourself into this mess, you get yourself out. She hasn't txt back, she doesn't like the truth.
I was in the kitchen making dinner and both daughters were there. They told me, that they wanted me to find someone else, someone who would appreciate me. I am a bit confused about this, I thought they would want mum and dad together regardless. Is this anger, or do they really see things for what they are - no hope?
My D's don't recognise my W anymore, they think she is someone different. They don't like what they see.
I asked my S, when he last received a txt from his mum and he can't remember. What a cold hearted ***** she is. There are people who can't have children, who would make much better mothers, than this woman. Life is not fair.
Asteriks are not the only substitutes you can use to mask a word, for example b!tch (much better isn't it?).
I've no doubt that you are emotionally much stronger than your daughters and you can ride this sh!t storm but please consider getting them into counseling. For a short period their anger and bitterness towards their mother's actions is a natural response but over the long run these toxic twins can poison their young lives and negatively affect their adult relationships. So please consider getting them into counseling.
It's a good thing you told your wife to fix the mess she created. She broke it, she owns and pays for it.
Now I don't know what to think. My W is denying everything and there's a new twist in her favour. My D's boyfriend has told me that the source of the rumour is very unreliable and is a known gossip. He also said and that these sort of rumours are typical of where we live.
He told me that a few weeks ago, the same man was rumoured to be having it away with the local barmaid. He said that was extremely unlikely as she is young and good looking and he is the village sleazeball.
My D, now wishes she hadn't mentioned it as it may not be true.
For my D's sake, I am now telling them to take the rumour with a pinch of salt and give mum the benefit of the doubt. I have no other choice.
This is a roller coaster and I want off. My head is a mess. Is it true, is it not, I honestly don't know.
Trying to get myself back on track today as the last few days have derailed me a little bit. If she didn't sleep with this guy, then she will do it with someone soon. I just don't trust her. I need to get the focus back on me and the kids.
For those who have followed my thread, this is the week that I was supposed to do the refurb on the livingroom. Woke up to four inches of snow on Saturday morning, which hampered getting rid of rubbish and picking up materials and then I get the bombshell on Saturday night. Anyway, I got back on with it today and made some good progress. Nearly done the plastering and got the skirtings and door surrounds off. D (18) is giving me encouragement - That wall your plastering nearly looks flat dad
My W txt today saying that I was putting ideas in my D's head and that it wasn't helping. She got both barrels. I said quite a bit, which included.
I don't need to put ideas in my D's head to destroy your relationship with them, you are doing a good job of it on your own.
Why have you not txt your S in days. I told him today, that you were struggling to keep your phone topped up and you were looking for a new price plan and this was not the first time I have lied to protect the kids.
Don't you dare cast aspersions my way, I am ten times the parent you are. She didn't answer but she did txt S.
Because of the events on Saturday night, I didn't get an opportunity to update on my W using my phone and computer for her beauty salon nonsense. I sent her a txt saying that she was not to come into the house again as she was treating me with contempt, you left me after stating you wanted another man who would make you feel special and then you come into my home and make enquiries to a beauty salon and you weren't even discreet about it. She txt back saying that she was sorry and wouldn't do it again and that she never said she was looking for another man. I txt her saying she was not to go in the house again.
Feeling better tonight. Went to S's concert today. It was really good (Cinderella Rockerfella). For a small school, they have some very talented pupils. I realised how much my S is just a small version of me, although he has a lot more hair.
My D (18), who has helped so much lately, won £100 in the raffle - karma. She said to me, I didn't buy the ticket, you did, so you can put it towards the livingroom refurb. I told her not to be silly, I bought the ticket for you, so it's yours. She gave her brother £20. What a fantastic young woman she is.
The thing, that has pleased me most today was my W. She came to the house after going to the evening show and asked to see D. I don't know all that was said but W was crying and wanted to make peace with D. She promised my D, that the rumours where not true and she hasn't been with any man. I think that watching my S at his concert has tugged a few heart strings. I told my W earlier in a txt that she needs to accept our D's anger, as it is to be expected. She needs to accept that she has caused hurt and that it's her responsibility to repair the damage. I desperately want them to make up but it needs to be W driving that and tonight she took an important step.
W, listened to my request and knocked on the door tonight. At this point, I can barely look at her. I don't want anything to do with her.
Well, to add to my woes, I was send for an xray today after suffering from a cough for the last eight weeks. After examination and explaining my symptoms, the doctor told me to go to the hospital. ( we have walk in xray facilities in our hospitals). I was ok with this until I read the the letter that I took. It said check for lesions. I know what these can be.
After leaving the hospital, I thought about my kids and I broke down. I sat and cried in my car for a few minutes. There was an element of self pity in there as well. I could barely speak to my D when I got home.
I broke my 180 and spoke to my W. She told me to stay calm and that these sort of tests are precautionary. She is probably correct.
At this point, I don't give a sh!t about my 180 or whether my W sleeps with another man. I want my kids to have a dad.
I hope that I am over reacting at this point but the thought of my kids suffering more just breaks my heart. Maybe what I am going through is exaggerating my feelings.
My W leaving me has been firmly put into perspective.
I won't get the results until next week.
Am I being tested, have I been bad in a past life, I don't know but even though I am a strong person, I feel I am getting close to my limit.
Sorry for bringing doom and gloom to the forum but I can't discuss this with the people that mean the most to me. I would be causing them undue worry at this point.
As you can imagine, I am extremely fragile at this time. I imagine the worst in every situation. I hope that is all it is.
Whatever happens, this is a life changing experience for me.
Over the next few days, I am going to endure the biggest test I have ever faced. My kids want the livingroom done for Christmas. At this point, I am failing them, I can't focus on the task. I am being consumed by other events.
If there is a God out there, can you please give me the strength to do what needs to be done. I do not want to fail my kids.
All you God fairing people, can you please say a prayer for me, I desperately need it just now.
This is, without doubt, the worst I have ever felt in my life.
OutOfTheBlue - I've not commented on your thread til now. I really feel for what you are going through. I know my situation, with just the WW, is causing me more stress and heartbreak than i though I could stand. Adding health issues.....I can only imagine.....actually....I can't! I hope and pray for you, in your situation. Please hang in there! Try to focus on your kids, and Christmas. The rest HAS to wait. My prayers on the outcome of your tests!
OutOfTheBlue - I've not commented on your thread til now. I really feel for what you are going through. I know my situation, with just the WW, is causing me more stress and heartbreak than i though I could stand. Adding health issues.....I can only imagine.....actually....I can't! I hope and pray for you, in your situation. Please hang in there! Try to focus on your kids, and Christmas. The rest HAS to wait. My prayers on the outcome of your tests!
Thank you - your support is appreciated. This is without doubt, the biggest test I have ever faced. In the last year, I've lost my Dad, I've lost my wife, I do not want my kids to lose me. I know that even if it is serious, I won't be gone tomorrow but the thought is still frightening. I know that I could deal with any outcome - death does not frighten me. However, the thought of my kids going through more heartache just brings me to my knees.
Hopefully, this will be just one of the other scores of problems that can imitate cancer.
Don't panic. They are probably and most likely nothing. They happen all the time. Worrying about it won't help you a bit.
I know, I know. it's just that when you keep getting knocked down, you start to expect it. The fact my Dad died from cancer of the esophagus doesn't help either. The doctor asked if I had any trouble swallowing, which I don't and he said it won't be anything to do with the esophagus.
I am hoping for acid reflux, which can give the exact same symptoms as I have. I have been suffering from heartburn as well.
Had a mixed day today, positive for a little while and then down for a while. Managed to do a little work on the room and put up the outside Christmas tree with my D
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Re: My Wife is separating from me - Loooong Post 
