12-28-2008, 07:47 PM
Join Date: Dec 2008
| | help me please...please read
i have been married for 3 years...seperated for 6 months.
about 18 months ago my wife got into a car accident and has since been diagnosed with a rare brain disorder that causes painful headaches, backache and muscle pain. since being diagnosed she has gained around 50 pounds and i am not attracted to her. prior to this happening the attractiveness was minimal also however i felt that being we were togehther for so long (almost 10 years before we got married) this was somewhat normal. there is no known cure for this however many people can live with the pain and manage to lead somewhat healthy lives.
we have had some other problems as well in our marriage and relationship. I have no relationship with her family and can not stand to be around her father. i have a problem with father figures as my own father was and still is a real sob (i havent spoken to him in many months nor has he called me during this time).
also, my wife does not want to have children as she feels:
1) in her condition she is not fit to have them
2) she does not want to spread this (which is hereditary) to her child.
all all valid concerns however It doesnt change the fact that i want children.
during this seperation i have met someone else. i am not sure how i feel towards this person but i know that she is in love with me .shes a great girl and has a very bright future. seems to want the same things I want for a future.
i can not decide which way to turn. i still care for my wife and feel very guilty for leaving her as she may have trouble finding someone else. i also dont want to leave a life i started (house, material assets etc....) however i could find happiness with this other girl but i dont know what that future may lead too. I am running out of money as i have been living in an apartment as well as paying a mortgage during this time. i need to make a decision soon before i ruin my entire finanical life along with my sanity.